Hi there!
I don't really feel like I am able to talk about what goes on in my head with anyone that I know so I thought this forum would be a good place to start, as I am sure this is the place where people can relate.
I am a 27 year old female, an only child who grew up with a single mother with BPD. Needless to say it was painful chaos and there was no-one around to relate to, validate what I was going through or tell me it wasn't all in my head like I had been told many times before by my mum.
I moved to the other side of the world for a few years to try and process it all, this did help me heal slightly, to be away from her, however she is still now a part of my life. I say this because I completely understand those that would cut contact with a BPD parent. Unfortunately I have always felt that that would be too dramatic of me or cruel to my mum.
I have known for a few years now that she had BPD and it has helped me heal the pain by being able to make sense of what the first part of my life was about due to her illness.
I am writing on here today however because although I know why she did the things she did and I know that is not my fault, it has sadly left me with many troubles of my own.
When reading the article on here about children of parents with BPD and being shamed, I can relate to pretty much every single effect on the list that it can have on you.
I struggle with stress management, liking myself, liking the way I look, commitment and relationships. I have BPD traits of my own. I struggle with seeing things through to the end, flitting from one to another. I get angry. I suffer anxiety. Narcissism - due to the fact I am so caught up in just trying to deal with life. There are many more.
I am absolutely terrified of the fact that I could have BPD myself and just wondered if there are any other children of BPD parents out there, who have suffered themselves and have any advice on how to get to grips and really kick the bad habits you don't want to have and become more resilient and happy?
Any comments welcome
Thank you,
Me x