My "emotionally safe place"

[Crumbling]

How do you define your emotionally safe place?

When I begin to get creative, I know I've hit my emotionally safe place.  I just don't always know what to do to get there.

I know my volunteer work puts me there.

What about you?  Where is your safe place?

[Eyeamme]

Wrapped in a blanket either sleeping or watching Bewitched reruns.

[HappyChappy]

Good post Crumbling. My safe places:

Doing artsy things; painting or writing jokes and sketches.

Imagining I’m lying on a tranquil beach

Walking in our local meadow

[eeks]

When I begin to get creative, I know I've hit my emotionally safe place. 

This makes sense to me.  When you feel safe, and calm, you are free to be creative, because your mental and emotional resources are not going towards anticipating danger.

I know my volunteer work puts me there.

Is it something to do with connecting with others?  Being of service, contribution?

[sweetheart]

I copied my reply from Undecided here because I think it's important and hopefully relevant to this thread as well... .

Hi crumbling sorry I didn't see your question last night. I am using a generic 'you' in my explanation.

Here is a link about emotional safety https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-in-the-recovery-room/201405/emotional-safety-what-does-it-really-mean

What I meant by 'emotionally safe place' is somewhere that you do not have to resort to self-destructive coping strategies, where you are away from emotional triggers that bring you to a place close to breakdown, where your environment is free from emotional toxicity. Where you feel safe inside in who you are, strong enough not to loose yourself and become engulfed by difficult feelings.

The reason I mentioned this in my reply to you is that until you feel emotionally safe, it will not be possible for you to set goals. You have to return to yourself first and steady yourself emotionally, hold yourself and know that those terrible feelings will not overwhelm you. When you feel stronger, more emotionally secure then start looking at what goals you want to set.


What do you need to do to protect your emotional safety ?

[Crumbling]

Thanks for sharing that here, Sweetheart.  I thought it would be good here too but had no clue on how to make it happen.

My volunteer work connects me with like minded people, with a common goal aimed at helping youth in the area.  I get so much out of it!  Very purposeful.

It is what keeps me sane.

[Grey Kitty]

There is also the negative side of that question:

What in your life keeps you from being in an emotionally safe place?

[flowerpath]

Hey, Crumbling.  I still remember the French Toast Club!   

My emotionally safe place is one where my mind and heart are at peace.  A place where I don't have to be on the alert and where communicating doesn't wear me out.  For me, that's either being by myself doing what I enjoy, creative or not, or being with undemanding family and friends who are easy to talk with, or quietly slipping into the back row at church and letting it soak in.

I can relate to how when you get creative, you know you are in an emotionally safe place.  I find that in order to do creative things, my heart and mind need to be at peace.  With work and personal things weighing heavy on my mind, I have some trouble finding that emotional sweet spot.  I think I've been going about it all wrong, though.  I've been missing out on what could be personally rewarding because I wait for all of the emotional stars to line up.   

One of my friends who is an art teacher told me that she just gets to work on a project, no matter how she feels.  By doing it, she gets drawn in to the satisfaction of what she is doing and is pulled away from the emotionally draining things.  Producing that beautiful piece of art is reinforcing, emotionally rewarding.  I'm not saying that creativity is the entire answer, but art encompasses a wide range of activities and service, and little art therapy can be a very healthy thing.

Sounds like that's what you're doing with your volunteer work.  One foot in front of the other. 

[thisworld]

My emotionally safe place is not somewhere that makes me completely at peace with myself and the world. If that happens, it's a wonderful gift of life and a lucky day - luckily this happens more often nowadays so I can say I'm generally a happy person. But I feel emotionally safe when I have troublesome thoughts but can practice mindfulness and not get affected by these thoughts. I feel very empowered when I can do this - I feel good too because this wasn't a natural trait in me, I worked hard to be able to learn and practice it as a former anxiety/thought OCD patient. I've been in remission now for a long time, went through a difficult divorce and a tumultous relationship without medication and I feel very good about this - kind of proud as well:)) So, my mindful head is my emotionally safe place.

I do a creative work and when I concentrate, it can disconnect me from troublesome things for very long chunks of time. I feel safe there, too but it can turn into escapism for me. So when I do that, it bothers me a bit.

Another emotionally safe place is my pillow when I practice grounding with it. Feeling it, how my cheek touches the pillow, realizing sensations... .These make me emotionally safe.

Water makes me feel safe. Underwater/scuba diving, snorkeling, swimming, taking a bath. All very safe.