Marriage Vampire book by Fuller

[martillo]

I did not see it in the list of recommended reading or reviews.  Has any one read it and have any recommendations?  It says it deals w NPD in a marriage relationship. 

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[Notwendy]

I haven't read it. I did read a book on emotional vampires, but not in marriages.

There are plenty of books out there that use such language to describe people with PD's. I have read many of them. I'm not an advocate of restricting books. I think we should all read and learn as much as we can.

Many of these books can be helpful and explain things that are confusing. Many of them can feel validating- and feeling like one is married to a Vampire could feel accurate at times.

However, I think we also need to read with a purpose as well as a critical eye. If our goal is to work on the relationship we have, and to make it better, does referring to our partner as a vampire help lead us to that goal?

Does a book put us in victim position? I think one could make a case for that for many of us, we didn't have a clue what we were dealing with. We may not think we have a part in the issues. While there can be some truth in this, we also have to take a step back and ask---does being in victim mode help us achieve our goals? Being a victim can make us feel we can do nothing to help ourselves.

While not denying that we are in a difficult spot, with a difficult person, if we are to gain any information about making any changes, we are not likely to find it in reading materials that present our partners as some kind of monster or vampire, and us as their victims. We are more likely to gain helpful information if we are all presented as humans, each with a role in the relationship dysfunction. Even if our role is perhaps the lesser,one, the only person we can really change is ourselves. So, perhaps this is why a book with a focus on the partner as a vampire is not on the list.