Hello just checking in

[Wanda]

  it has been awhile again since i was on like a year maybe longer every time i come on i see new faces...   a little of my story this valentines day i will be married 18 years to a BPD i have known just after i married, and decided to work on it i was like most of you here, in a bad spot.

luckily for me he is high functioning and is recovered almost 30 years in AA .

we have our good days and bad he rarley has explosions any more,  when he use to have them daily... then= once every three months then four months and as usually will last four days . I learned how to work the tools and communicate and things got better.

sometimes i even forget like i have now  he has BPD. i was told 17 years ago he had a personality disorder and i narrowed it down to BPD i read lots of  book and went to therapy we even had a therapeutic separation like 17 years ago. all my kids were young my youngest was 2 she is now 24 and has my grandbaby.     wow! years has gone by and to this day he doesn't know about BPD,

it was just me working the skills and tools and learn to communicate.but i forget he has BPD and i find myself defending myself not validating him which is hard when everything is my fault.

but i do know when i do and say the right things he will also.   now after fighting i have to start validating again other wise this will just get worse. not better i have to remember he is trying to control me  he always say i am controlling him but in actual i have to remember it is other way around.

and he gets mad when he can't control me and what i do... any way just wanted to say hi once again been awhile.    this disease is terrible but can be worked with...

   

   

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[Notwendy]

Thanks for posting your success story! It's really heartwarming to hear how you worked this out.