Is there a correlation between BPD and hypochondria?

[Parents! Get help here!]

My BPD daughter, aged 23, seems constantly worried about even the tiniest of health problems, and even normal things that aren't problems.

A spot on the skin is automatically cancer, bloating automatically means pregnancy, a headache is a brain tumour.

Lately it seems to be getting worse. Is this associated with BPD? Is it a form of GAD?

[Noteliz]

My BPD daughter, aged 23, seems constantly worried about even the tiniest of health problems, and even normal things that aren't problems.

A spot on the skin is automatically cancer, bloating automatically means pregnancy, a headache is a brain tumour.

Lately it seems to be getting worse. Is this associated with BPD? Is it a form of GAD?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mom2bpd]

My BPDD does the same and she constantly thinks we've made her daughter sick. She will claim that our houses is too dusty and causes our GD to get sick.  This comes from a woman with no vacuum cleaner for her apartment!

Our GD is often sick when she comes to our house, but she'll act like she was fine before then.  Our BPDD just mentioned she may need sinus surgery yesterday, and I've only known her to have a sinus infection twice in her life. I was dumbfounded as I often am with some of her strange comments.

[Slipping]

Hi Noteliz,

I can't tell from your post, but I'll guess this is frustrating for you. Is that right? It certainly is for me. It's hard to know how to respond to something that seems so disconnected from reality.  I have experienced this with my uBPDd 29.  She has real and significant health issues, but suffers even more when she can't stop worrying about the worst-case outcome.  There are plenty of times when I'm so worn down dealing with her real crisis that I just want to scream when we have to start dealing with what appears to be a totally imaginary problem!

I think this is called catastrophizing and at least for my family, it's very connected to the BPD.  As I understand it, the essence of BPD is emotion dysregulation.  So I think of it this way.  My daughter has a pain (any pain or illness) and her first emotion is fear.  Because she suffers with BPD, she becomes dysregulated and can't think logically or control her thoughts.  Since she can't stop the fear or the thoughts, she continues until she just KNOWS it is cancer, or needs surgery, or becomes angry that the doctor is ignoring her.  I don't know if that's a clear explanation, but her emotions (fear and anxiety of major illness) become her facts (major illness).  Where someone without BPD might react with a bit of anxiety over a headache and momentarily think of the worst case, my daughter loses all ability to think logically once her emotions are engaged.  So while it appears illogical to me, I've learned that it is logical for her in the context of her BPD.  That's helped me to respond better to her.  

I also notice that this way of thinking, or catastrophizing, is evident in lots of areas in my daughter's life; it's not limited to her physical health.  I see the same pattern in the way she processes relationship difficulties too.  And I've learned trying to reassure her or help her reason her way out of it only makes things worse and causes her to rage at me.  :)ismissing it as unreasonable doesn't work either.  I have to validate her emotions before we can even begin to process reality.  And I've had to accept sometimes that I can't help her at all. 

It's one of the many things that makes me crazy about this disorder.  As if she didn't have enough real issues to deal with, the unfounded worries just cause her more unnecessary suffering and sleepless nights. I know that if she were getting DBT, they would teach her skills that might help reduce her worry and ruminating.  Is your daughter in any therapy?

Could I ask, what is GAD?

[Noteliz]

Hi Noteliz,

I can't tell from your post, but I'll guess this is frustrating for you. Is that right? It certainly is for me. It's hard to know how to respond to something that seems so disconnected from reality.  I have experienced this with my uBPDd 29.  She has real and significant health issues, but suffers even more when she can't stop worrying about the worst-case outcome.  There are plenty of times when I'm so worn down dealing with her real crisis that I just want to scream when we have to start dealing with what appears to be a totally imaginary problem!

I think this is called catastrophizing and at least for my family, it's very connected to the BPD.  As I understand it, the essence of BPD is emotion dysregulation.  So I think of it this way.  My daughter has a pain (any pain or illness) and her first emotion is fear.  Because she suffers with BPD, she becomes dysregulated and can't think logically or control her thoughts.  Since she can't stop the fear or the thoughts, she continues until she just KNOWS it is cancer, or needs surgery, or becomes angry that the doctor is ignoring her.  I don't know if that's a clear explanation, but her emotions (fear and anxiety of major illness) become her facts (major illness).  Where someone without BPD might react with a bit of anxiety over a headache and momentarily think of the worst case, my daughter loses all ability to think logically once her emotions are engaged.  So while it appears illogical to me, I've learned that it is logical for her in the context of her BPD.  That's helped me to respond better to her.  

I also notice that this way of thinking, or catastrophizing, is evident in lots of areas in my daughter's life; it's not limited to her physical health.  I see the same pattern in the way she processes relationship difficulties too.  And I've learned trying to reassure her or help her reason her way out of it only makes things worse and causes her to rage at me.  :)ismissing it as unreasonable doesn't work either.  I have to validate her emotions before we can even begin to process reality.  And I've had to accept sometimes that I can't help her at all. 

It's one of the many things that makes me crazy about this disorder.  As if she didn't have enough real issues to deal with, the unfounded worries just cause her more unnecessary suffering and sleepless nights. I know that if she were getting DBT, they would teach her skills that might help reduce her worry and ruminating.  Is your daughter in any therapy?

Could I ask, what is GAD?

GAD is General Anxiety Disorder. The excessive worrying about her health seems to be a sign of anxiety. But you said something that struck a chord about doctors. My daughter feels rejected or dismissed by the answers and/or treatment she gets from doctors. The fact that doctors can be dismissive is very well-known, and it will piss off anyone who isn't dealing with emotional issues!

My daughter is in DBT and said her therapist told her she should be upset about not getting the right responses from her gynecologist (she just changed birth control pill and is freaking out about all the side effects, real or imagined). Last night I validated how she feels and asked her what exactly she wants to hear the gyno say. I suggested she ask the gyno direct questions about those specific problems so the answer would be concrete, but I have no idea what I'm doing here.

I'm totally frikking lost. She comes for support, doesn't like what I say.

I wish I were perfect.