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Author Topic: Do you see a lull before the storm type pattern?  (Read 491 times)
Noteliz

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 32


« on: February 22, 2016, 03:17:05 AM »

When my BPDd is really happy, excited, bubbly, caring and funny I just know the next day will be a crash into screaming tears directed at either me or her poor boyfriend.

It's almost assured it will happen and it's so sad because it prevents me and others from fully enjoying her company because we know what will come.

Is this typical?
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
bpdmom1
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« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2016, 07:14:10 AM »

Interesting.  My daughter seems to do the same. She gets really super excited and then seems to crash.  We are on edge when she gets super excited as we aren't sure what will happen next.   She can be in an elevated mood for a short time mins to hours or longer time a couple of days. 
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Noteliz

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« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2016, 07:48:56 AM »

Interesting.  My daughter seems to do the same. She gets really super excited and then seems to crash.  We are on edge when she gets super excited as we aren't sure what will happen next.   She can be in an elevated mood for a short time mins to hours or longer time a couple of days. 

Exactly. The same here. It's bad because I want to be able to enjoy her while she's in a "happy" state of mind but there's the fear of what's to come always at the back of my mind. I seem to always be on edge, always be wary.
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lbjnltx
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« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2016, 08:26:37 AM »

There are some very good DBT skills that help us be mindful in the moment... .mindful of our emotions, mindful of our triggers, mindful of how the past affects our present.

If we learn these skills and use them for ourselves then we model this behavior for our children/adult children.

Triggering and Mindfulness and Wisemind

If our children are learning the DBT skills we can help them utilize these skills by:

Modeling 

Reminding our kids to use them

Tell our kids we are using them

Triple reinforcement can be affective over time and in the moment.

If our kids are not learning DBT skills we can use them ourselves and benefit, model them for the benefit of our relationship, and perhaps during times of calm discuss them with our kids... ."this is what I learned to do that helps me"... ."you can learn about them here... ."

www.dbtselfhelp.com/

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