Gonna give NC/ very LC another try

[kc sunshine]

JQ & Steelwork-- I'm in for the sunrise challenge as well-- I love it! Today is actually a big day in my working on my codependency-- my ex invited my to go see her perform in a drag show at this big dance party and I said no. Now my codependent self was/is so scared that she'll meet someone new at this show... .but my wake-up-tomorrow-to see-the-sunrise-self is letting go of that fear (and that is the same self that said no to the invitation!)

So good to hear from you Anez, and hear that you are doing well! It is so easy to downplay or dismiss their serious mental illness, and you guys have done such a great job in recognizing it, and reminding me of it as well-- thank you   

[steelwork]

JQ & kc:

I will not lie and say I saw the sunrise this morning... .BUT I did get up a lot earlier than usual and go sit on a bench in the park, and it was lovely. I listened to music on my ipod, and then talked to a lady about dogs. If I get to sleep early enough, I'll try for the sunrise tomorrow!

[kc sunshine]

I missed the absolute sunrise here too (well I'm in Seattle so there really isn't much of a sunrise underneath the clouds) but inspired by you guys I got up and out early instead of ruminating in bed! I took the dog on a skateboard walk to this dog park, let him off leash, and exercised a bit. I saw the day lightening-- the sun rising behind the clouds brightening and intensifying the colors of the morning. It was still grey, but a brighter more beautiful grey. I thought that was apt, things still feel gray but maybe they are getting brighter. 

[Anez]

So good to hear from you Anez, and hear that you are doing well! It is so easy to downplay or dismiss their serious mental illness, and you guys have done such a great job in recognizing it, and reminding me of it as well-- thank you   

For me that was the hardest part - truly buying into the fact that she has BPD and is mentally ill. But I've finally turned that corner and see that light. There's literally nothing we can do to help these people. There's no future with them for us. And we're better off without them. I'm seeing that now.

They are basically like an untrained pitbull - sometimes they'll show you love but most of the time they'll just be way to dangerous to be around.

I say detach and find a good person to be with. It can be done. Don't get lost in thinking she is the only beacon of light in this mad world. Because she isn't. There are so many out there.

Glad you guys had good mornings.

[kc sunshine]

Totally. Here's what I know for sure about her:

1) I would never be able to live with her (even if we could somehow stay together)

2) Being together with her wouldn't be good for my kids (Besides having them have to see her get so mad at me, I don't think I would be the best mom I could be in the relationship)

Also here's what I know about being apart from her:

1) even though its been together in terms of the gut-wrenching in terms of the separation anxiety, my life has felt "less unmanageable"

So good to hear from you Anez, and hear that you are doing well! It is so easy to downplay or dismiss their serious mental illness, and you guys have done such a great job in recognizing it, and reminding me of it as well-- thank you   

For me that was the hardest part - truly buying into the fact that she has BPD and is mentally ill. But I've finally turned that corner and see that light. There's literally nothing we can do to help these people. There's no future with them for us. And we're better off without them. I'm seeing that now.

They are basically like an untrained pitbull - sometimes they'll show you love but most of the time they'll just be way to dangerous to be around.

I say detach and find a good person to be with. It can be done. Don't get lost in thinking she is the only beacon of light in this mad world. Because she isn't. There are so many out there.

Glad you guys had good mornings.

[JQ]

Good morning KC, Steelwork, group,

First I want to say congrats to everyone here who made it out as early as they could to see the sunrise in whatever state it was!     YOU took the first step in a new & better direction in YOUR life!  Each one of you should be proud of yourself for what you accomplished this morning!

Steelwork ... .nice addition adding music to your walk in the park this morning !  I think music can be great in framing the mind for good things for the day!  How many of us had a good head nod in the car on the way to work listening to our favorite music vibrating the windows?  And see ... .the dog thing works ... .it's a great ice breaker between people ... .I have to admit ... .I would take my dog with me and she was my wingman !     She helped me meet more then one person and ended up with a date or two from them     

@KC ... .having been stationed on Whidbey Island I know just how you can go for weeks or months not seeing the sun ... .I would like you to go out & get those 100 watt bulbs and not those "soft white" ones ... .natural light ones and you'll see a difference in your mental outlook in a matter of days ... .BUT you started to improve because you said ... ."It was still grey, but a brighter more beautiful grey."   Taking a negative & turning it into a positive! 

And look at you two ... .you took the dog to the park too!  Could it be that you & Steelwork are the Sheepdog?  BOW WOW BABY ! BOW WOW!   

@Anez ... .wrapping our own thoughts around BPD being a mental illness is certainly a tough one to come to terms with because they don't exhibit any outward appearance or they aren't what we see as a "stereotypical" mental illness person is ... .mindless zombies in a hospital ward that we see in some movies. But neither are psychopaths ... .people like Ted Bundy, The Green River Killer or any other serial killer can charm his or her way into the lives of unsuspecting victims ... .but they are certainly mentally ill. So are those who suffer from BPD ... .I'm glad you finally were able to recognize the Cluster B mental illness for what it is and just how difficult life would be if we were to remain with them. It sounds as if you're on a good path on your journey ... .it's filled with a few potholes and turns ... .but you remain committed to the journey.

the group, I want you to know I just don't talk the talk ... .but I walk the walk. I was up early this morning here in the Southwest. I showered ... .had my 1st cup of coffee, a protein shake and went out for my morning hike with my cell phone in hand to take pictures. I watched the sun come up over the mountains this morning while I drank my 2nd cup of coffee. WHAT A GLORIOUS MORNING! THE SUN SHINING!  BIRDS! NATURE! THE SUN ON MY FACE! Crystal blue sky's after the oranges, yellows & pinks that engulfed the mountains ... .I'm Just in amazement that I live in such a beautiful place!  On my walk this morning I came upon a unexpected surprise of about 100 vendors having a artisan craft fair along my walking path so I decided to stop and see what I could see. I met some amazing people with great stories to share! I saw some amazing things from people who have a gift of art, craft & taking some amazing pictures to share with the world!  Truly a great surprise! EVERY person I passed along the walking path either walking or running or riding raised a hand & said good morning!  HOW CAN YOU NOT BE IN A GREAT FRAME OF MIND AFTER A START TO YOUR DAY LIKE THAT?  Oh and so you know ... .my walk ... .5 miles of just pure enjoyment ... .taking my time ... .no rush ... .loving the sun, nature, people, & getting those endorphins & my blood circulating!

Today was the first day for some of you ... .you got up, got out, enjoyed an amazing start to the day!  Steelwork is going to meet the sun tomorrow! Let us know what you experienced tomorrow Steelwork.  Group ... .I won't kid you, there will be moments you feel weak, want to reach out to your BPD & somedays will be tough ... .but when they are ... .remember days like today and KNOW that YOU can get past it!  In those moments ... .know that those moments will pass ... .but to help with it ... .get out for a short walk, get to that bench in the park with your iPod ... .take your dog to the skateboard park and enjoy THAT moment! And you won't even know that you're not thinking about that bad moment before ... .because it passed ... .you're enjoying the moment with your dog ... .yourself ... .your music ... .and maybe like Anez says, you're going to meet someone in the dog park, on the park bench that see you for who you are ... .an amazing person that they want to get to know better and in time can appreciate the person who YOU are!

Ok group, time for a shower ... .another protein shake and back out in it ... .maybe I'll take myself to a park and enjoy the moment!

Give yourself a thumbs up guys!       YOU DID GREAT!

J