Ex BPDgf harrassing my family

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello all. It hasn't happened in a while, but my exgf who was diagnosed with BPD was harrassing my ex wife and children. She would sit outside of my ex wifes house,follow her when she drove my daughter to school. I found out that she sent texts to my 13yo daughter and 18 yo son which includes explicit details of our sex life. The relationship is over, Im still not over it, but I'm mentally much better off. The question is, has this ever happened ti any of you, and what was her reasoning behind it?  I can't figure out what she was trying to accomplish with any of this.

[Bigjay73]

Hello all. It hasn't happened in a while, but my exgf who was diagnosed with BPD was harrassing my ex wife and children. She would sit outside of my ex wifes house,follow her when she drove my daughter to school. I found out that she sent texts to my 13yo daughter and 18 yo son which includes explicit details of our sex life. The relationship is over, Im still not over it, but I'm mentally much better off. The question is, has this ever happened ti any of you, and what was her reasoning behind it?  I can't figure out what she was trying to accomplish with any of this.

[Bigjay73]

And yes, we went to the police, but their hands were tied. She used burn phones and never did anything technically illegal. She was very cunning, and knew where to draw the line to keep any blame away from her.

[once removed]

hi bigjay73 and

its very unfortunate that youre being subjected to this harassment, and very unfortunate that she chose to involve your children. it doesnt help that the police have their hands tied, that has to be frustrating. did you mention her following of your ex wife and daughter?

can you tell us a bit more about the breakup and what led up to it? are these vengeful acts, attempts at contact, what would you say?

[Bigjay73]

The last breakup was because I found out that she was sending messages to my kids. Sounds bad, but even knowing that, I had a hard time deciding to end it. Of course she denied it, and actually became quite enraged when I brought it up. The night I broke it off, she took a few hundred dollars from my wallet right in front of me after I told her it was over. Called the cops, she talked to them first and of course made me the bad guy. It wasnt a pleasant experience. Other than that, my story is like most others. Amazing first 6 weeks before the cracks started showing. After that,  it was living in a mental prison, and walking on eggshells. Left the relationship broken, depressed,  and defeated. I've been a lurker here since. You guys are a god send. I'm at the point where I smile at the good times we had, but am realistic about the fact that she will never change. In true BPD fashion, she got engaged 3 weeks after the last time we slept together. I honestly feel sorry for the poor guy. I have to believe  that the acts were vengeful. She rarely was the type to seek to reconcile. She had too many other options to care. Her bed was only cold when she wanted it that way

[once removed]

im sorry bigjay  . its not uncommon during a breakup attempt for things to seriously escalate. im not at all surprised you had a difficult time going through with it if for that reason alone. im glad you decided to post. hopefully youre finding support here, and it sounds like there are stories you can relate to. it goes a long way to know we arent alone.

whatever motive she has for these acts, and youre probably right that they are vengeful, its likely she is seeking a reaction of some form, and i think youre better off not giving it to her. im hoping others can chime in (you might try the legal board we have here) with advice, because its a tricky situation, and i assume your goal involves her flaming out, and peace. hopefully, without a reaction, she will get bored and give up. do i have it right that she is still engaged while this has been going on?

[Teereese]

im sorry bigjay  . its not uncommon during a breakup attempt for things to seriously escalate. im not at all surprised you had a difficult time going through with it if for that reason alone. im glad you decided to post. hopefully youre finding support here, and it sounds like there are stories you can relate to. it goes a long way to know we arent alone.

whatever motive she has for these acts, and youre probably right that they are vengeful, its likely she is seeking a reaction of some form, and i think youre better off not giving it to her. im hoping others can chime in (you might try the legal board we have here) with advice, because its a tricky situation, and i assume your goal involves her flaming out, and peace. hopefully, without a reaction, she will get bored and give up. do i have it right that she is still engaged while this has been going on?

So true.

Most of the time my stbxh is just looking to make crazy, bring on drama and cause chaos. There is no logical reason or motive behind his actions and I cannot make sense.of it. His thinking is not normal. He wants reactions. He acts on feelings not facts. He has caused situations then escalated those situations.

I am awaiting the day he gets bored and gives up. He has a replacement but clearly he isn't fully focused on her or that relationship.