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BPDFamily.com
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Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
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Topic: Setting a boundary for Easter dinner (Read 674 times)
isshebpd
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 199
Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
«
on:
March 19, 2016, 05:16:59 PM »
Is it reasonable to request no iPhones or SmartPhones at the table during seasonal feasts?
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chayka
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Married to my amazing, supportive partner
Posts: 104
Re: Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
«
Reply #1 on:
March 19, 2016, 06:17:48 PM »
It seems very reasonable to me, but I guess it will depend on who is there and their likely attitude to that request.
How many loved-ones with BPD or other challenging problems will be present? Do you think they might take it personally? It's worth emphasizing the positives of doing this, like being able to enjoy each other's company and the food much better without the distraction of phones.
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Lamps are lit in the darkest of places, in the deepest dungeons of all, where maybe even Satan yearns to become again an angel of light. (Jim Cotter)
Bright Day Mom
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Posts: 243
Re: Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
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Reply #2 on:
March 21, 2016, 01:20:55 PM »
It is absolutely reasonable. I actually have an electronics free kitchen! Dining room for larger parties. I refuse to put my heart and soul into preparing a meal and have it hijacked by an electronic. One of my co-workers has a basket that they ask guests to put their phones in upon arrival. I don't know if you have to take it that far. I also have a "family Dinner Game" and place one or two cards next to each place setting. If there is a lull in conversation you can with that it is a great way to learn more about one another and keeps things moving along.
Have a great Easter!
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isshebpd
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Relationship status: Married
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Re: Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
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Reply #3 on:
March 22, 2016, 11:29:20 AM »
In this case, unlike with most people, this is probably PA behaviour. I'm not sure what my uPD brother is trying to say when he pulls out his iPhone at the worst possible moments. Even during our niece's christening (our sister's daughter) a few years ago. I'm not really religious myself, but I show proper respect.
I heard someone ask him to put it away once, and he said something on the lines of "you can't make me". Very childish for a 38 year-old.
This dinner will be at our parents place, although everyone is contributing, so I asked them (uBPDmom and enDad) to try to make this a rule this time. They've made some progress with setting boundaries in their home. uPDbro no longer walks around in his torn underwear belching.
I'm so glad I don't have to be around that guy more than few days a year.
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isshebpd
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Relationship status: Married
Posts: 199
Re: Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
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Reply #4 on:
March 28, 2016, 05:32:07 PM »
The Easter Dinner went way better than expected. It ended up at my sister's house, which is a bit out of town, and everyone decided to act just a little bit normal. No meltdowns or extremely rude behaviour.
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Bright Day Mom
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Posts: 243
Re: Setting a boundary for Easter dinner
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Reply #5 on:
March 28, 2016, 06:51:26 PM »
So happy to hear your Easter was a success.
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