I wish I knew for certain if my ex has BPD

[Scopikaz]

I still wish I knew for certain if my exgf definitely has BPD

[C.Stein]

I still wish I knew for certain if my exgf definitely has BPD

As do I, but then what does it matter one way or the other when you really think about it?  BPD or not, the behavior and actions are what matter and a diagnosis won't change the past. 

[Scopikaz]

True. But if she is BPD it's harder to help herself. And she will likely continue failing relationships and acting this way.  Otherwise she was just using and taking advantage of me.  And if it's BPD I can have an element of sympathy or sorrow. If just using it does make you feel more like the fool or angry

[Herodias]

Scopikaz, I felt the same way for along time... .I was obsessed with figuring out which one he is... .problem is, BPD can be co-morbid with the other personalities and so really, it's all the same. One has intense feelings and the others do not. Yet, as a doctor told me once... .are you sure they don't have feelings? They have intense feelings when it comes to themselves... .As I see it now, it's all bad. Bad for us. It doesn't matter, but I know- somehow seeing them as not being able to help themselves makes you feel sorry for them. If they do it all on purpose then you don't. I say don't, because they are choosing to not get better either way. It is all about choices.

[WoundedBibi]

Scopikaz, I'm a moron. I just posted my reply to you in a post called 'the usual' from someone else. Sorry... I need a nap...

[hopealways]

It really doesn't matter if she is, the fact is the posts on this board resonate with you and that is why you are here.

[Frustratedbloke]

Read my other thread on co-morbidity with Narcissism, it covers some of the same ground.

Basically I asked all the same questions and if they're controlling, a user, manipulative etc then at some level they have a personality disorder. Normal people don't do that.

I'm using control freak as an example, because well it's one of the things I dealt with and I found this interesting article:

www.abusesanctuary.blogspot.co.uk/2005/10/dealing-with-control-freaks-by-thomas.html

Which personality disorder? Does it matter really? Read that other thread, it's pretty much a soup of all of them when you really start digging.

[MapleBob]

Read my other thread on co-morbidity with Narcissism, it covers some of the same ground.

Basically I asked all the same questions and if they're controlling, a user, manipulative etc then at some level they have a personality disorder. Normal people don't do that.

I'm using control freak as an example, because well it's one of the things I dealt with and I found this interesting article:

www.abusesanctuary.blogspot.co.uk/2005/10/dealing-with-control-freaks-by-thomas.html

Which personality disorder? Does it matter really? Read that other thread, it's pretty much a soup of all of them when you really start digging.

I spent some time trying to determine if my ex's behavior was BPD or just extreme ACoA/FOO stuff - and it's true, it all comes out in the wash. These disorders overlap at so many points that you kind of have to throw up your hands and just start dealing with the behavior itself, regardless of cause.