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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
CPS question regarding how they investigate
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Topic: CPS question regarding how they investigate (Read 620 times)
sanemom
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CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
on:
March 27, 2016, 08:10:25 PM »
BPD mom had gotten the teens to tell CPS that we were using drugs late last year. CPS totally believed them and put us on a safety plan and then disappeared when our hair follicle tests came out negative for drugs.
Now, over a month ago, she filed a CPS report alleging that DH was driving drunk. He wasn't. He hasn't had anything to drink at all in over two months (mostly because he realized his sons were holding "just a beer" against him, he stopped to keep his relationship with them), much less driving intoxicated (he has NO DUIs and no history of it). He WAS very tired on the night in question, and he had one of the his sons drive home from dinner because he wasn't feeling well so I guess, to BPD mom, that turned into he was drunk after having some tea?
I am not sure what his sons told CPS, but in a counseling session that week, they were suddenly convinced DH was drunk. Two of my older kids told me that the investigator told them that she didn't believe this nonsense, but she had to ask anyway. She also told them that she was aware that the boys have a history of "grossly exaggerating things."
Anyway, when I contacted CPS with the number on the slip on my door, I briefly mentioned that he was tired and not feeling well that day, but she needed to contact our lawyer to interview us. She left a message with our lawyer, and he called her back, and he hasn't heard a word from her since.
It has been over a month. Should we be worried? Shouldn't the investigator talk with us?
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Sunfl0wer
`
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Relationship status: He moved out mid March
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #1 on:
March 27, 2016, 09:19:15 PM »
It is my understanding that you can directly call them and ask if the case is closed or where they are at in the process. They will tell you.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
bravhart1
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #2 on:
March 28, 2016, 01:27:05 AM »
So now this is a new accusation? Geez laweez!
When BPDm was making these same accusations she didn't call CPS but told it to the therapist and mediators. DH simply said if ANY accusation is going to be made that the accusing party, must make DH aware immediately so that he can obtain a breathalyzer, blood test what have you to maintain his innocence. Everyone agreed.
She continued to make the accusations and even was chastised for "letting DH pick up SD" if she suspected alcohol abuse, but she refused to call police to let him refute it. She looked like a liar. If DH is offering to wait around for the police to be called to test him, then why not if you think it's true.
How much more of this nonsense is CPS going to entertain before she gets false accusations charges brought up? Ask them that.
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Thunderstruck
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #3 on:
March 28, 2016, 10:54:28 AM »
Quote from: bravhart1 on March 28, 2016, 01:27:05 AM
How much more of this nonsense is CPS going to entertain before she gets false accusations charges brought up? Ask them that.
Well, they have to "investigate" every claim. This means they have to make contact with the kids for each claim.
We have found for a few claims that they would just talk to SD11 and the complainant (uBPDbm) and if there was nothing actionable that they would close it as "unsubstantiated" before even talking to the other parent (DH). This has happened enough times that there is a note in our case file that specifies we are a family in conflict and uBPDbm has a history of making allegations.
The CPS worker is probably just going to close it as "unsubstantiated". She was probably just calling you so you could give your side of the story, but it sounds like she probably didn't need it anyway.
Your DH can go to CPS and get a copy of the report if it is closed. He could also go and get a copy of the whole file (including the notes from the CPS worker) but he might need a judge to sign off on that.
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"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."
"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thunderstruck
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #4 on:
March 28, 2016, 10:56:51 AM »
Also... .you saw how fast they acted last time when they really thought there was a drug problem. They had you on a case plan probably relatively quickly. The fact that it's been a month and you haven't heard anything is probably a good sign! It means they don't think there is abuse.
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"Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength."
"The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitos and silly people." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
scraps66
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Relationship status: Separated 9/2008, living apart since 1/2010
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #5 on:
March 28, 2016, 02:26:37 PM »
And why is CPS so swiftly acting on the input of children associated with high conflict divorce. Everything I hear about CPS is less than complimentary. I had a lady friend of mine, school district psychologist, tell me that anytime she's seen CPS get involved, they don't help at all.
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sanemom
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #6 on:
March 28, 2016, 09:50:26 PM »
Yes, this is her new thing, and she apparently has convinced the boys again. DH went to DSS15's school today to talk with him for a few minutes (he hasn't seen him in a month--keeps refusing), and DSS15 refused to see him. It is like DSS15 WANTS to believe he is a drunk, even though he was proven wrong with a similar assumption just months ago.
I am not going to worry too much about CPS right now... .will call them before we decide to go to court.
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david
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Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #7 on:
March 29, 2016, 09:48:59 AM »
I had one incident with CPS. Ex claimed I bruised our youngest son because of my harsh punishments. They called me to talk to me. I answered their questions stating that my ex had some kind of issues. I then read several emails from ex to the investigator with my responses. I offered to have them come to my house. the investigator said she was closing the issue.
My ex will try something and if it works she will use it again and again. Stopping it the first time usually stops ex from trying again.
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ForeverDad
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Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
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You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #8 on:
March 30, 2016, 05:03:28 PM »
It can take a while for CPS to finally accept that the Ex has little or no credibility. My Ex would try something (first was a chipped elbow when son fell off his stopped bike without a scrape) and when it failed she'd try something else or something more drastic (eventually where she was reporting "my son told me... ." and 'suspected' the worst abuse imaginable of a child. I could usually predict them, just before a big hearing or just after she had done a blooper. For example, she made an allegation within days after she raged at the pediatrician's staff and they "withdrew services".
I think one of her last allegations I found out about was in 2010. In 2009 I had sought Change of Circumstances which was needed to get full custody, a process which took a year and a half in all. The CofC decision letting me proceed noted that one piece of her testimony was "not credible", courtspeak for Liar! It also contained a paragraph noting she had claimed I'd choked her years before. False, of course. Yes, her DV allegation was in the same document that granted my request to proceed for full custody. Go figure. (Until then all her allegations had been about child-related issues. I have concluded that since she had been arrested for Threats of DV against me when we separated (2005) that she didn't feel she could make DV allegations.)
CPS is a Black Box in my area. I recall once, soon after I filed for divorce, I got a call that there had been an allegation but the matter had been closed. She wouldn't tell me what it was, just that it was closed.
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sanemom
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Posts: 1013
Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #9 on:
March 30, 2016, 10:50:39 PM »
I came home today, and there was a lady from CPS on my front porch asking to take pictures of my kids. I wish it hadn't upset me at all, but it did, and I asked why we hadn't been interviewed yet. She said that she was working with our investigator, and it is CPS policy to take pics of the kids every 30 days and asked for my permission. I let her do it after expressing some frustration.
I contacted our attorney, and he said we didn't have to let her do that and to have the investigator call him (which we tried to set up well over a month ago). So I called the investigator, and she said that they had to get the pictures to close the case. She apologized for "ignoring" us, but she had bigger fish to fry essentially.
I guess closing the case without even interviewing us is a good sign... .they caught on quickly that BPD mom is nuts.
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Turkish
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Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12183
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: CPS question regarding how they investigate
«
Reply #10 on:
March 30, 2016, 11:41:49 PM »
That would freak me out, but it sounds like it's turned out ok. I never got notice if our case was closed, just a "I'm going to forward the report to my manager, and it's probably going to be closed." Since she made an implied threat that they could take our kids, I was nervous. I never called back to check, and never will. That was last summer.
I'm glad that it seems to be over for you.
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