A couple of diagnosis so far

[unicorn2014]

Hi everyone,

My daughter seems to be improving over the last two weeks, she started seeing a psychologist two weeks ago. She was diagnosed with depression and alcohol overdose by the ER and depression and substance abuse by her primary care doctor. She signed a treatment plan for a year of therapy and has an appointment with a psychiatrist next month.

Meanwhile I'm reading about depression in understanding the borderline adolescent. The author distinguishes between depression in BPD and non BPD adolescents by saying non BPD adolescents have sleep and eating issues while BPD adolescents are more dealing with self loathing issues. My daughter's psychologist says she clearly has a problem with self esteem .

I've talked with my SO about some of the traits and he's definitely vouched for her having affective mood swings based on things that are going on around her. He and I are on the fence about whether or not she has the emptiness trait. She's often complained of loneliness and boredom, he thinks that's normal teenage stuff, I'm not sure. I remember one time when she was on the floor in a ball because she was so lonely, that was heartbreaking. She is an only child and i have sole custody of her and she's extroverted .

At any rate I thought I would update the board and I will continue to read about depression and substance abuse in the borderline adolescent book.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Good to hear that she has had a better few weeks!

Does your d participate in any positive group activities w/her peers?  If so, how does she get along with them?

lbj

[unicorn2014]

Good to hear that she has had a better few weeks!

Does your d participate in any positive group activities w/her peers?  If so, how does she get along with them?

lbj

Sometimes she participates in a creative writing group for teens at the library. She's a loner, however she does have a best friend she likes to study with. She often complains about her friends being busy on the weekends, but that's because she doesn't like to plan. She also dropped out of track this semester which would've provided a lot of positive peer interaction. She's not allowed to go to the city where she got drunk, there's a boxing gym there but its not a positive place for her outside the gym. I've encouraged her to use the weight room at school since she likes to work out but she complains its too small. Right now she's focused on pulling her grades back up so she's been going to the library after school and working with her teachers.

[8daysAweek]

Hi unicorn,

Struggling with loneliness can be very hard on teens. For me, in some moments it seemed like no one cared about me, other times I enjoyed having time to myself. It all depended on how I felt that day or moment.

There are many ways to support your d when she feels lonely, it is so clear that you care about her very much.

I would suggest that you take your d to the boxing gym and support her there while also providing supervision. It could be a reward for doing good in school or something else positive she does.

A gesture like that could really help reinforce positive choices and build a good relationship between you.

-8days

[unicorn2014]

Hi

8days and thank you, she actually didn't want me at the boxing gym and since its in a bad neighborhood I and the police and my family  don't want her going there. Actually our relationship is great, that's not the problem. I'm going to be taking her to a climbing gym instead.

[8daysAweek]

That is so good to hear unicorn!

That also sounds like a fun activity for both of you to spend some good quality time with each other. Maybe next time you go, you could allow her to bring a friend on a specified weekend? That could help her learn to plan so she might not feel like her friends don't want to see her on weekends, and understand how planing activities in advance can be very rewarding.

-8days

[unicorn2014]

Hi 8days, she's already asked friends and they can't go and I couldn't pay for them anyway. She doesn't like to plan, it's not that she doesn't know how. Is there something about my communication style that is giving you the impression I need parent education? Please let me know so I can better communicate. I often find board communication challenging and it takes me a few tries to clearly communicate my point of view. I see you're relatively new. This post was a follow up to let the board know about where things are now.

[8daysAweek]

It can be challenging for members to piece everything together. It seems like information can get scattered around the website sometimes. I don't mean to offend you in any way.

From this post, I do see how great your d is handling her struggles while having BPD. I'm sure you put in just as much or more time and effort into working with her and on yourself. Props for good parenting 

There is always something new to learn and it's great to have an open mind.

I haven't learned the full story yet. Could you provide me a link to previous posts?

[unicorn2014]

Hi 8days, she has not received a diagnosis of BPD yet, that was the point of the post: she was diagnosed with depression and substance abuse. She'd been "acting out" for years and finally hit a bottom a couple of weeks ago that landed her in the er. As a result she was diagnosed with depression and substance abuse. She just started therapy two weeks ago. Her appointment with a psychiatrist is in a few weeks. Things are still unfolding .

[lbjnltx]

I think it is a safe assumtion that we are all here to get education and advice on how to affectively parent our children with BPD or traits of BPD,  it is the purpose of the board. Yes?


lbj

[unicorn2014]

Lbj, yes, I was going to qualify that with basic parenting education, which I've had a lot of. I even have a degree in child development .

I posted this because I don't know much about parenting a teen with clinical depression. I do get support for parenting a teen with substance abuse. It is still not clear if her depression and substance abuse are symptoms of BPD or not. The borderline adolescent book is the first I'm reading on the subject.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

I posted this because I don't know much about parenting a teen with clinical depression.

My son struggles with depression, too. This is really helpful advice for me:

That also sounds like a fun activity for both of you to spend some good quality time with each other. Maybe next time you go, you could allow her to bring a friend on a specified weekend? That could help her learn to plan so she might not feel like her friends don't want to see her on weekends, and understand how planing activities in advance can be very rewarding.

I struggle with knowing how much to get involved in my son's planning, or more like lack of planning.

unicorn2014, what would your D say if you were to invite a friend on a joint activity the two of you did together? I can see how this would help my son with his depression, though like 8days mentioned, he also sometimes seems very content to be alone.

[unicorn2014]

Hi lnl I'm already doing this. There are some coparenting issues which are affecting her which I posted about on the coparenting board but nobody responded to my most recent post there. I'm hesitant to  bring that subject  up here but if you think that would be appropriate or helpful I can go into it .