So two weeks ago, my pwBPD and I went over to his friend's place and his best friend gave me a massage and after we left pwBPD was sulking like crazy, giving me the silent treatment and later told me that I'd been acting like a s(ut and trying to make him jealous.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=291835.0 - Original post.
A few of you guys were helpful enough to point out that me making sarcastic comments was probably not helpful to my relationship, regardless of the constant jabs he makes at me and that he was probably feeling hurt/jealous/abandoned and so he projected it onto me and accused me of wanting to do that to him.
And so... .I had a second opportunity to test this theory. We ended up going to his best friend's house again (Not my decision, particularly) and again the same circumstances appeared.
He likes to spend the majority of the time on his laptop and doesn't really like much affection while he does it.
This time I made sure that I gave him consistent attention and checked in with with him repeatedly. I bit my tongue on the sarcasm and only expressed positive things about him. i gave him space when he wanted and when he tried to do silly things to me that often irritate me, I just calmly and politely asked him not to do those things while smiling and being affectionate.
I maintained connection with him and didn't exclude him from the conversation, so he was far more receptive and happier.
And it worked. Zero kinks in the entire 2 hours we were there.
Unfortunately, we got tacos after that and apparently I started eating one of his by accident because 1) Dark 2) Driving.
He started berating me and being verbally abusive for 1) not checking that there isn't a C on it 2) continuing eating despite the taste and consistency of being of beef. Pretty much calling me *Fuc*ing dumb*
The irony? The radio started playing a song called training wheels with the chorus repeating:
Love everything you do
When you call me fu*king dumb for the stupid shlt I do
about 6 times.
He didn't like that.
He turned it off promptly. I was dying inside from laughing internally.
And then I lost control of the car because slippery roads + snowstorm + turn ahead and ended up in a ditch.
Things turned out okay. My rear passenger door is slightly damaged because I hit a mailbox, but the Police showed up, filed a report, tow truck pulled me out and everything was fine. And my boyfriend was an absolute angel. Hugging me tightly, reassuring me that everything was fine and that we were okay and not to worry. I couldn't have asked for a better person to be there with me.
