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Author Topic: Recent meet up with ex ( whom has every trait of BPD )...outcome of meeting up  (Read 430 times)
spooktor

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 10


« on: May 15, 2016, 04:31:48 PM »

Hi to all,

I recently met up with my ex ( whom tho not diagnosed by a professional... .has all the traits and manipulative/ lying behaviour patterns we all have experienced )... .as I was keen to see if she had kept on ( supposidly ) seeing a psychotherapist and wether she had any obvious changes to her persona

After we broke up, I exposed her as a deceitful girl, I found information about her lying, which could not be argued against

It was a suprise visit and she was caught unaware.

She said she was ' getting help '  and has been on medication for deep depression, since she called it a day.

She also brought into the conversation, that after I exposed her as a liar, she won't and drank 3 bottles of wine, went looking for sleeping tablets ( which I'm very confident she did not have in the house, because she cannot take them due to an irregular heartbeat issue ), but  she couldn't find any ( coincidently ) so couldn't complete her ' wish ' to end all the pain at that point, in her own words ' suicide attempt ' she couldn't even get right.

Anyhow, although she says she is on her tablets, and things are getting slightly better, she still manages 3/4 to a bottle of wine per night!... .which if I'm correct will lessen the effetiveness of anti depresses,  and heighten blood pressure... .leading to more risk of a malfunctioning heart rate.

I think she is lying still on lots of levels, as she said she was only talking with her therapist about the ' now ' and is not ready to talk about what has made her so unhappy and depressed, because she did not want to. she said what happened described below wad irrelevant at the moment, and the therapist had not pushed the issue ( I'm sure they is bulls hit too )

*  ( by the way she was left by her real dad at 4 years old, then at nineteen, her mother left her stepdad  for another man, which she knew nothing about until she came home from work to see her mum , packed suitcases

and greeted my ex with the words " I'm leaving to go and live with this chap, it's up to you wether you want to stay with your stepdad or come with me " . They did not speak for 9 months, but in her own words she forgave her mum and everything is fine now? ( I don't think that had ever been the case and in my ex eyes, I think she feels she was abandoned twice! *


She is too ashamed to go out of her house too much, as she knows what she lied about and used her daughter as a tool against me, but what she forgot to remember,  was I am very well known and liked in our town, and my family too, ynd most people will know about what happened and her behaviour, so she is afraid of bumping into people. Bearing in mind my family were open armed to my ex and her daughter, what's ours is yours scenario... .but as she lied and never has tried to apologise, she has been given the cold shoulder by my family.

My questions ultimately is  -

Would she be lying about the attempted suicide to gain sympathy and affection back?

Would she really keep seeing this therapist? ... .or would it just be another story

And why although we ceased to be ' friends ' on Facebook,  would she still keep a whole heap of photos of us together , on her photo pages?


She will know I still have strong feelings for her, that I cannot hide, but what I also need to understand is this -

As time goes by, and our relationship in her eyes becomes a distant memory, she can always fall back on the ' I was very sick at the time we were together, and I had no idea what was What!... .and I meant every lovely thing I promised you at the time... .and meant every single word of it,  but I got sick." I'm sorry for what I did to you, but I was unwell! "

So if I know she is BPD, Then I can at least say I forgive her for what she is putting/ put me through as it's not her fault, but if she never accepts that is the case, and I don't give her the time of ( say if we bump into each other )... .she can begin to feel,  as if I have the obsessive problem, and I should accept that she is unwell.

Until she tells me , she accepts  she has BPD behaviour, due to her abandonment by parents in childhood, then although I can never trust this girl again, I will at least forgive her,  and she can then walk at ease, amongst all the people I know too  , and she should get s peace of mind, knowing she had told me the Truth on this matter

Ps

She is 42... .I am 48... .and have been left really scarred by this 3 year relationship. I know I am always going to compare what we had, with any potential future partners... .and I'm sure it's going to curse me from here on in.

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Ashwin
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 61



« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2016, 05:00:08 AM »

I mean I don't get it what is it that ur trying to imply. ... .do u want her back? Or is it just that on running into her has opened the floodgates of emotions in ur mind... .

   Sir I am way to junior to you to advise you on anything. ... but from what I read about ur ex I feel I you really want this woman back in ur life please don't leave any stone unturned. ... .it's best that both of you visit a psychiatrist have a sessional couple counseling for atleast 6 months... .before you do so make sure that u instill in ur partners mind that ur just merely trying to make this relationship work and in case you don't find her as a changed person the second time on that you guys weren't meant to be together. ... .

       See what progress you make and from this time on lay down some firm ground rules. ... .

       We all have just one life do what makes u happy. .sir all the best in your future endeavors
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spooktor

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 10


« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2016, 06:25:06 PM »

I appreciate your time in writing your words ashwin, thank you!... .in answer to your question, I would want the girl I met back yes! ... .but after all the lies, how can I believe anything she says from here?... .I suppose it's about the trust issue... .ultimately!... .as of present, I do not trust her, but if she was made aware of what she was doing and why... .then perhaps she may return to whom I met.

Ita funny really... .people say trust your gut instincts... .it's your subconscious brain working... .which in that case,  I should forget the whole thing... .yet others say ... .never give up on something that you don't go a day without thinking of her!

I like your comment about not leaving any stone unturned Ashwin... .i really don't know if I would discover all those stones... .so best to get on the ' forget her totally train! '

Thanks again

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