Message of hope for anyone struggling

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

A few months ago I just was broken up with by a BPD ex, she was my first girlfriend and i fell in love with her. I went through crazy ups and downs like everyone else here, dealing with suicidal threats, attacks when she felt bad, being in that dreaded triangulation and then finally being replaced like I didn't matter. I can tell you, when It first happened I was absolutely CRUSHED. I lost 12 pounds and I'm a very skinny guy anyways, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to do anything. Sleeping is all I had the energy for, it was so hard. This BPD forum helped me so much to let me know I wasn't alone, that just cause this happened doesn't mean I'm worthless or it was my fault, it's just a mental illness that we suffer through cause we care about that person. For anyone that's reading this that's just been through a breakup recently or just having a hard time, I can assure you IT WILL GET BETTER.

I didn't believe it would either, I felt suicidal even, but it will. At first I kept it to myself, but I opened up to the few people I had in my life, (trust me I don't have a big support system just ONE friend can be a help though) and I kept myself busy after the first 2-3 weeks of misery. I thought about my ex CONSTANTLY, and my stomach was in knots. I went from sad to angry, and back to sad again throughout each day. But as time went on I'd find myself being able to at least laugh a little here and there, in between my sadness and anger. I wasn't happy but I was managing. I made myself volunteer at a dog shelter to get out of the house. I bought some software to make music. I started talking to people online, making myself do stuff. Since then I've met a new friend, and possibly more and I've made a couple more friends at the college I've been going to. I'm not saying you need to volunteer or do music, but try and keep yourself busy with something ANYTHING, if you have a passion go for it, if you don't find something to distract you. Don't let yourself do nothing but fill your mind with regret, and go through COUNTLESS what ifs. You will, and you will get mad at yourself but try not to.

It's been around 5 months sense everything went down, and no I'm not completely over it. Yes I still think about her at times and miss her, but I'm also happier than I was at the end of the r/s, no more stress and worry over someone going from happy to angry just like that, feeling worried about being replaced anymore. I just hope someone who reads this knows I've felt the exact same way, but it will improve. Just keep focusing on yourself and not him/her. If you need anyone to talk to this is a great place to be! Feel free to message me too if you need to. 

[TheSarcasticOne]

A few months ago I just was broken up with by a BPD ex, she was my first girlfriend and i fell in love with her. I went through crazy ups and downs like everyone else here, dealing with suicidal threats, attacks when she felt bad, being in that dreaded triangulation and then finally being replaced like I didn't matter. I can tell you, when It first happened I was absolutely CRUSHED. I lost 12 pounds and I'm a very skinny guy anyways, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to do anything. Sleeping is all I had the energy for, it was so hard. This BPD forum helped me so much to let me know I wasn't alone, that just cause this happened doesn't mean I'm worthless or it was my fault, it's just a mental illness that we suffer through cause we care about that person. For anyone that's reading this that's just been through a breakup recently or just having a hard time, I can assure you IT WILL GET BETTER.

I didn't believe it would either, I felt suicidal even, but it will. At first I kept it to myself, but I opened up to the few people I had in my life, (trust me I don't have a big support system just ONE friend can be a help though) and I kept myself busy after the first 2-3 weeks of misery. I thought about my ex CONSTANTLY, and my stomach was in knots. I went from sad to angry, and back to sad again throughout each day. But as time went on I'd find myself being able to at least laugh a little here and there, in between my sadness and anger. I wasn't happy but I was managing. I made myself volunteer at a dog shelter to get out of the house. I bought some software to make music. I started talking to people online, making myself do stuff. Since then I've met a new friend, and possibly more and I've made a couple more friends at the college I've been going to. I'm not saying you need to volunteer or do music, but try and keep yourself busy with something ANYTHING, if you have a passion go for it, if you don't find something to distract you. Don't let yourself do nothing but fill your mind with regret, and go through COUNTLESS what ifs. You will, and you will get mad at yourself but try not to.

It's been around 5 months sense everything went down, and no I'm not completely over it. Yes I still think about her at times and miss her, but I'm also happier than I was at the end of the r/s, no more stress and worry over someone going from happy to angry just like that, feeling worried about being replaced anymore. I just hope someone who reads this knows I've felt the exact same way, but it will improve. Just keep focusing on yourself and not him/her. If you need anyone to talk to this is a great place to be! Feel free to message me too if you need to. 

[gotbushels]

I went through crazy ups and downs like everyone else here, dealing with suicidal threats, attacks when she felt bad, being in that dreaded triangulation and then finally being replaced like I didn't matter.

I relate to this. Congratulations on your recovery TheSarcasticOne. May your recovery from here be restful:)