Left my marriage

[Kenda]

I’m finally accepting how unhealthy my relationship/marriage has been for quite some tie now. I left last night on New Years Eve after a whole weekend of disconnect which stemmed from his his splitting episode which occurred during breakfast. I don’t have the strength to fight for our relationship anymore. I’m wounded and it’s time to acknowledge that and take care of me before he kills me.

[livednlearned]

Hi Kenda,

It can be a big breakthrough to realize we have to take care of ourselves. It isn't always a linear process, but just recognizing it, saying it out loud, and taking steps to make it real is a big deal.

What does taking care of yourself look like for right now?

Has he been physically violent? Are you ok?

Let us know a little about what things have been like for you when you feel ready.

Are there any kids involved?

Lots of us have been in your shoes. You're not alone -- we're here to walk with you as you sort out next steps.

Glad you found the site.

 

LnL

[ForeverDad]

The first step is the hardest one.  Once you've chosen to pick a better path then subsequent steps will become easier over time.

Meanwhile, you will need solid local support in addition to the peer support here.  Do you have a counselor?  Interview a few and select one who seems more able to comprehend your concerns and suggest strategies.  Same for a lawyer.  Even if there are no kids and few assets, you probably will still need an experienced lawyer.  Sadly, form filers and hand holders don't know how to handle high conflict cases where settlements are difficult to achieve.  You'll need a proactive lawyer with practical strategies to handle whatever troubles your spouse might cause during a divorce.