Dodged a bullet

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Finding out my BPDxgf had a breakdown and lost control a few weeks ago and her new bf tried to keep her quiet by putting his hands over her mouth and he got 48 hours in jail, I realize how blessed I am for not spending a single minute in jail because of her disorder.

And I did have many many risky situations that could have easily landed me in jail for a much longer time and for more serious made up charges. As you may know she's accusing me of rape and I now realize the full impact and seriousness of her accusation and how foolish I was to get envolved with her in the first place.

I seen her bf at the restaurant and he looked lost, he was standing behind a cash register and his coworkers were trying to help him. I could see the fog in his eyes. Poor guy still wants to get married to my ex even after spending 2 days in jail for doing nothing but protecting himself.

Oh well... .it's not me

[JerryRG]

Finding out my BPDxgf had a breakdown and lost control a few weeks ago and her new bf tried to keep her quiet by putting his hands over her mouth and he got 48 hours in jail, I realize how blessed I am for not spending a single minute in jail because of her disorder.

And I did have many many risky situations that could have easily landed me in jail for a much longer time and for more serious made up charges. As you may know she's accusing me of rape and I now realize the full impact and seriousness of her accusation and how foolish I was to get envolved with her in the first place.

I seen her bf at the restaurant and he looked lost, he was standing behind a cash register and his coworkers were trying to help him. I could see the fog in his eyes. Poor guy still wants to get married to my ex even after spending 2 days in jail for doing nothing but protecting himself.

Oh well... .it's not me

[Leonis]

I hope that helps you to detach and move on easier.

[JerryRG]

Indeed Leonis

This revelation, though difficult for my exs bf is a gift of perfect clarity into what would have been if not for me sending my ex packing last Nov.

I'm very thankful that she's exposing her true self instead of being able to blame me for her misery.

Just a shame both of them are so deluded and bound for even deeper dispare, one day he may be here posting his heartache, then again maybe not. Do prisons allow Internet access?

Thank you Father for delivering me from certain death

[Leonis]

I had a similar experience that I have mentioned briefly in other threads.

My ex's siblings decided to jump on me over a FB post I responded to last week. It was about how girlfriends can get jealous from perceived boyfriends "flirting" with the waitress.

The final lines that hit me straight out of the park was her sister telling me that I should have let my ex go May 2015 when we broke up, but instead, I apparently forced her to come back into my life by harassing her family.

Sounds pretty ridiculous because she drove down from another city to my doorstep to reconcile and I somehow had the intimidating presence that forced the other 8 members of the family to bend to my will? Furthermore, does that mean all the praises they had given me were fake/false? Have they been secretly hating me? Or are they products of PD altogether?

This made me realized that even if I married my ex, there's still a dysfunctional family in the long haul. In some unknown future date, we would probably get divorced and her whole family would most likely accuse me of being an abusive spouse, etc. and jail time would become the least of my worries.

[JerryRG]

Yeah my exs family has serious issues, grandmother married for money, her husband thinks her kids are losers and won't have a single thing to do with them yet grandmother is part of her husbands gathering very often. Marry a man who hates your kids? I guess.

Grandmother is also very controlling and abusive to her children. Very dysfuntional bunch, wow what a great sit com that would make. The Dysfuntional Bunch?

Oh just watch TV on any given night and it's all over the place

[Leonis]

It's really eye-opening.

Similarly, my ex's mom is really controlling. The dad apparently has bad temper. None of the siblings have healthy relationships or have a social circle. Lots of  . The mom was even quoted, by my ex, saying that she wished her children's father was someone else and she married for money/desperation.

Funny thing is, the mother wanted a divorce a long time ago, but stayed for the kids. They obviously did a good job. 

Of course, that doesn't take away the pain and frustration associated with moving on and feeling bad for them.