Lost cause - How do I escape Family Law without losing everything?

[Duck_Borders]

Hello everyone,

I've posted on and off on this forum for about 8 months now.  I have just finished my 4th court date that was postponed and manipulated by her lawyer, claiming that if we made motions for drug tests or psych evals that he would appeal it up to the "3rd" and according to my lawyer it would be in appeals for a year and cost another $10,000. 

Extremely long story short - I unknowing eloped with a severe personality disorder (but she hides it well).  We moved into together after getting married.  I own a small business and pay myself a true amount of $30,000 CAD per year

Coles Notes:

- Pregnant on wedding night

- Physical/Emotional abuse from her for 43 days living together

- Culminating in severe attack from her, which resulted in me going to jail for DV

- After 6 months and $15,000 charges were dropped

- She moved to Miami while pregnant

- We "reconciled" (I only did because she was pregnant with my son and I was trying to do the right thing)

- She abused Xanax (possible other drugs) while pregnant

- Our son has several health problems, I cannot prove it to be due to drug abuse.

- She secretly filed for divorce after extorting $20,000 from me

- I moved to Miami to try to be a Father

- She uses health problems as a "gate keeper" to keep me away from son

- She recruited a nurse who I had with me for supervised medical visits with my son.  Nurse called 911 on me claiming that I'm 6' something and threatening her (completely baseless call, but they're using it in court)

- We have a Guardian, but she has really done nothing except talk to Doctors (every doctor and nurse say I'm a great Father and capable of taking care of my son, except for 1 nurse who called 911 falsely)


There are so many more disturbing details... .  This woman is a true piece of work.  I am the poster boy for why you should not elope.

we've had 4 hearings now.  Each time her lawyer surprises us with child support documents the day before the trial.  Yesterday he submitted a document claiming I am hiding $150,000 USD of hidden income from my small business in Canada.  My lawyer motioned for continuance based on not enough time to review documents.  Her lawyer motioned to continue time sharing hearing based on recent 911 call citing that I am a threat to the child.  Next court date is Oct. 28.

Our General Magistrate has mentioned personality disorders several times and I believe (as well as my lawyer and the guardian who is good friends with my lawyer) that the GM see's what's really going on here, but the opposing counsel keeps tying things up with legal maneuvers.


I love my son more than anything in the world, and I have an uncontrollable urge to take care of him and protect him. However, I've lost hope, his Mother does everything "legally" possible to stop me from having a relationship with him.  This system is so corrupt.  I am in a $1000 per month deficit just on imputed child support and rent (they are using my small business to manipulate child support).

My son's Mother has broken many different court orders and we haven't even had the opportunity to present that in court over 4 different trials.  Guardian has not had a chance to truly testify either.

On top of everything, our GM is retiring in April 2017.  There is no way this case is going to be completed by then and we'll have to restart... . 

The way I see it, I cannot succeed in this system.  I have given up the hope of having a relationship with my son or being able to help him.  I cannot fight the family court system.  My best option is to preserve myself, and maybe in 5-10 years, once I've restarted my life, I'll get to see him.  Once his Mother gets tired or bored of him.

How do I get out of this without losing my company or my life?  Is it best to sell my company now and move to a country that doesn't cooperate with child support?  Her forensic accountant has stated that I can make $150,000 no matter what I do, this is extremely untrue.  I've been living off my Mother's assistance.  She just sold her condo to help pay for legal fee's, but I can't keep taking money from her.

I have no money to continue this legal battle, but they're also going to impute child support of more than I make in income.

Is there a way to manipulate the system back and do something that protects me from unreasonable child support/legal fee's?  (Her lawyer/forensic accountants have realized they're not getting paid from her, so they're suing me for legal fee's as well)

Keep in mind these are just the very bare minimum details.  Ask me anything.

How do I escape this system?

Thanks,

Duck

[adventurer]

I know you've said you're out of money for attorney, but maybe it is possible to set up a one hour consult with a financial advisor?

If the situation is as bad as it sounds, you might qualify for some sort of bankruptcy?

You may need to sell that business - that would provide an undisputed account of its actual value and it will no longer be manipulated for child support as you say.

Good luck, this sounds awful.

[Duck_Borders]

I'm working with a broker right now.  But from what the other side has said, they intend to propose to the court that I am capable of making $150,000/year no matter where I go.  So essentially I need to defend myself against this inflated income no matter what.

Or move to Phillipines... .

or, my other idea is to move home to Canada, sell the business to a friend (continue working secretly), get diagnosed with severe PTSD (my shrink hates this woman and will help me in any way he can), and go on disability for as long as possible.  She can have her cut of the disability cheque.  Hopefully within a few years, she will get bored of the responsibility of raising a child and I will get primary custody by default. 

I know this is not an ethical plan, but the system has failed me here and I don't really know how to go on living an enjoyable life without manipulating back.

Anyone have any thoughts on this plan? 

[momtara]

This is rough. You will get some good advice here; just commenting so that maybe some of the dads who have been through this can respond. It's honorable that you love and want to protect your son. Most judges do want the other person to have a relationship with the child, but it may be difficult to prove you deserve more custody. Maybe you can get a lawyer to feel bad for you and do some work at low cost? Some dads would run the other way. You want to be involved. But I understand that it could break you financially.

I worry that if you give up now, you may never have a relationship with your son, even 5-10 years from now, and then you'll regret walking away. You won't be able to force such a relationship legally then.

Not sure how you can protect yourself financially, but maybe do some free consultations with other lawyers? Try posting on avvo - lawyers give free responses.