A strange meeting-- need advice please

[kc sunshine]

Hi! A strange meeting is about to happen and I'd ove your insight on how to proceed:

My BPD ex (we've only been broken up for about a week) is coming to town to pick up her daughter. She's traveling with her couple that she has been in a relationship with (we tried to open up our relationship but it ended up breaking us up as she fell deeper in love with the woman of the couple and started to devalue me, which got to be too much for me.) Part of me regrets jumping ship-- like maybe if I had waited out the early infatuation stage, things would have righted themselves. The other part thinks that it was a crazy situation and that it was hurting too bad and we (neither she nor I) did not have the skills to make me feel safe and secure in it.

Anyway, fast forward to today. I went to visit my sick mom and brought her daughter with me (we are very close). Now she's coming to pick her up, and bringing the couple along with her. They will be staying with me. Again my mind is in two places with it: half of me wants to ask her to take me back and give it another go. The other half wants to just let it all be and make the best of a bad situation, hoping that we can be friends. Either way, any thoughts on how I should handle today?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[C.Stein]

Either way, any thoughts on how I should handle today?

If it were me I would not do anything other than enjoy spending some time together.  No need to focus on a particular outcome.  Perhaps after they are gone you will have a better handle on your feelings.

[kc sunshine]

That sounds good-- hopefully I can do that!

[khibomsis]

Dear KC, you do lead a complicated life   I am sorry you are having such a tough time!I hope the visit goes well and that you manage to practice C Stein's advice. , khib

[kc sunshine]

Well it is over, thank goodness.

The couple was really nice, but my ex kept flaunting how much she loves the wife in my face (posting these pictures of them kissing on facebook, etc)! Whoa, pretty cruel. If I look at in the big picture, we all had fun and had a nice time, and it was a good, celebratory way to end things. Also, I think this is  better than being painted black! In the small picture, of course, I am sad because of the breakup, my ego is bruised, and I'm appalled by her behavior.

What's left now is how to respond to her social media stuff. I guess I just keep it light and maybe even "like" her status update, faking it until I make it to move on and let go.

[C.Stein]

Well it is over, thank goodness.

The couple was really nice, but my ex kept flaunting how much she loves the wife in my face (posting these pictures of them kissing on facebook, etc)! Whoa, pretty cruel. If I look at in the big picture, we all had fun and had a nice time, and it was a good, celebratory way to end things. Also, I think this is  better than being painted black! In the small picture, of course, I am sad because of the breakup, my ego is bruised, and I'm appalled by her behavior.

Perhaps this was the final push you needed?

What's left now is how to respond to her social media stuff. I guess I just keep it light and maybe even "like" her status update, faking it until I make it to move on and let go.

Why do you need to respond at all?