You might want to ask yourself why you keep falling for her stories. I have had to ask myself that question a lot. I so badly wanted to believe ex. I didn't want to see the truth. Ex is going to continue to treat me like he has for years unless I stand up and say NO MORE. It sounds easy yet is so unbelievably difficult to do. He can sound so convincing. I really think he is being sincere when he tells me stuff. In that moment, that is his truth. The problem is that after a conversation he will get distracted and forget the conversation ever happened. It is like talking to a version of Dory that is unable to recognize that short term memory loss is at play.
It is 1, 2, 3. . .oo, look a butterfly. I am going to go chase that now. And off they go chasing the butterfly while everything else is forgotten.
You are absolutely correct in that it's 100% truth, in the moment. It's the long term that gets us/them.
For instance, I had to attend a conference with my ex a couple of months ago (a 1 day thing). She talked to me afterward and we discussed a lot of stuff. That was followed with a couple days of texting afterward. I wasn't interested in a rekindle, I've moved on and she's in a r/s with my replacement (and she even called him my replacement during our talk - who also happens to be our co-worker too). Anyway, she said all these things that I am sure were true, in the moment. Of course, like all things, they were just as quickly dismissed as they were said.
Only one person can stop the cycle of abuse: ourselves. The pwBPD isn't going to do it for us. My ex is still wanting us to be 'friends' and told me she still "had love for me deeply"... .only to be lovey dovey with my replacement in front of me not 24hrs after she said that. In the moment, I believe she did have deep love for me, but had to show me she was over 'us' when I refused to chase her. I feel this was done with malice, because she knows I still care for her (my ex shows heavy N traits).
Abuse is abuse, mentally ill or not. You deserve better. We all do.