Hi Abbysmommy2011
The biggest issue we've been having over the last couple days is his anxiety. It's out of control. He's finally admitted that he used marijuana to "self medicate" for the anxiety. This admission on his part today with the psychiatrist opened up the opportunity for them to offer medication to manage the anxiety. Problem is that appointment isn't until next Tuesday. For the time being I'm trying to be as helpful and supportive as possible. The anxiety part I can relate to, because I have severe anxiety myself, I've tried offering and teaching as many anxiety coping skills as possible. Some of them seem to work for him, and some not so much.
Self medication is pretty common. Alcohol is one of the most problematic ones as it lowers boundaries. Weed comes with legal problems and some other mental health risks. It is a hallmark of pwBPD to have taken up dysfunctional coping habits e.g. cutting. Stopping in the short term is often difficult and it takes time to walk the path to a healthy set of coping skills.
The next few days before the med appointment are going to be rough, but I think we will make it! I'm a registered nurse, so meds are kind of what I do on a daily basis, so I'm going to see if that prescribing doc agrees that something along the lines of trazodone would be helpful for him because of the anxiety and severe insomnia. I'm hoping if we can treat the anxiety that the insomnia may resolve itself with time.
Sleeping pills come with their own set of at times deadly risks. He was involuntarily committed which may have been related to suicide risk or certainly has increased it.
Kudos to all you guys out there who have dealt with things like this for years... .I've only been at it for 2 weeks and I'm exhausted
I suspect you don't fully understand BPD yet. If your husband suffers from BPD it was there for a long time - and it has impacted you for a long time. Please spend time educating you on the site and ask questions if something is unclear or you need help. Learning about BPD in your life is life changing and not the least reason is the eyes are opened for a lot of things that we slowly accepted as "normal".
Another major stressor in this situation is that I'm the only income in the household.
See above.
My job is being completely ridiculous and giving me a hard time over missing work to deal with home stuff. I hate to bust their bubble, but my family comes first, and right now my husband needs me way more than they do!
Yes he does needs you. But also keep in mind that pwBPD tend to suck attention like a black hole with their drama. They suffer infinitely and indefinitely. We only have limited resources. Your employer has only limited patience. Learning where to draw the line is a big part of establishing healthy structures in a BPD relationship. Right now go with your gut but keep in mind - your resources are limited and you have rights too! You can't fix him or carry his pain.
Sorry for the rambling, unorganized post, but man it feels good to get some of that out!
Keep it coming
