I think my attorney is a narcissist...

[Herodias]

I am totally sick right now. I feel like I am being screwed right and left. My lawyer and her paralegal don't listen to me fully. She (my lawyer) asked me questions I have already outlined in my e-mails. She asked for information I already gave her. Her paralegal keeps making mistakes on documents that were sent out before I looked at them, when I have asked to see them before they are sent out! They just sent another one out and I e-mailed her back because once again it was sent out without my seeing it and there is possibly another mistake. I would think things need to be outlined precisely of what you are asking for on counterclaims. She has me asking to pay half his debt!  To boot, after I asked her not to be in contact with him over payments he makes to me, they got tangled up in his drama again at my expense. I just told her that all of them just got played with again, because he was testing them to see if they would listen to me and not deal with him on these types of issues,  they did not! I wrote them and told them I am not paying for them to "teach" him how to pay bills when he knows how to do it! He is just trying to raise my bill with herl! I told them he can have his lawyer contact me directly with his stupid questions and games.  That way he pays him! I am soo angry right now! I have had the worst day! Now I am going to be upset all night, because they haven't recanted what they sent his lawyer and I don't know what to think of it all... .I wish there was a screaming emoji!  UGGGHHH! So frustrating! Now I am going to worry about this all night!

[ForeverDad]

Is it time to get a better, more proactive lawyer and staff?  Bill Eddy in Splitting writes that you need a proactive lawyer with solutions.  While mistakes will occur in any case, you seem to have more than your fair share.  Better to fix the 'problems' — lawyer and staff not following your basic requirement to give final review of paperwork before it goes out the door — before you're too invested in time and money with this lawyer.

I recall when I was about a year into my two year divorce that I felt my lawyer was too passive with the "good old boys buddy slow motion" progress.  The other lawyer I saw said his retainer was $7500 and he'd probably spend it all "getting up to date" with the case.  I was stunned, that would have worked out to be 4 days worth of "review"!  I felt stuck and stayed with my lawyer.  It did work out eventually and truth to tell he wasn't as expensive as other lawyers but I always felt he was working within the typical framework and didn't aim for more proactive strategies.

[Herodias]

Is it time to get a better, more proactive lawyer and staff?  Better to fix the 'problems' before you're too invested into the case and lawyer.

I recall when I was about a year into my two year divorce and I thought my lawyer was too passive with the "good old boys buddy slow motion" progress.  The other lawyer I saw said his retainer was $7500 and he'd probably spend it all "getting up to date" with the case.  I was stunned, that would have worked out to be 4 days worth of "review".  I felt stuck and stayed with my lawyer.  It did work out eventually and truth to tell he wasn't as expensive as other lawyers but I always felt he was working within the typical framework and didn't aim for more proactive strategies.

Thanks, I already am in too deep. When this case is done, I am done with her. They just keep spending money I do not have while he is over there playing broke when he cashed out on his stock money! I am borrowing money to pay my attorney. He knows this!  I can't afford to start over at this point. I hope this all works out... .They sent him a settlement agreement that I requested, so that it doesn't have to go to court. She doesn't think he will go for it. We will see. It has him "winning", so I thought it could stop all of this now. I hope so... .

[Herodias]

Ok, she finally responded and at least I can sleep tonight... .  I hope all that needs correcting gets corrected. This is torture.

[david]

My first attorney was horrible. It took me three years to figure it out. I was never involved in any kind of legal situation before and I depended a lot on my attorney. After three years and learning how the "game" is played and how the rules work I found another attorney. I interviewed quite a few until I found one I thought would work.
My first attorney misplaced papers, seemed unprepared for court, wanted to go with the flow in court and not stand up for anything.
My second attorney was obviously prepared for a multitude of scenarios, made sure I understood what I could expect and what I could not expect, made sure he understood what I was willing to negotiate and what I was unwilling to negotiate. We worked as a team. Part of it was because I had figured out by then what worked in court and what did not. I was able to give my attorney what he needed to succeed in court. He got much more then he needed and I made sure of that. Also, he was able to explain what he needed because he listened to me and understood where I was coming from. He questioned me a lot, especially in the beginning, until he got a better handle on where I was coming from. His hourly rate was higher than my first attorney but he didn't charge me for a lot of our phone conversations and simply put them on my statement as a courtesy with no fee.

[sanemom]

The world of attorneys is an entire different culture, and I DO think it takes a while for us "normal" people to figure out the right way to play against these high conflict people.  I also think there are a lot of narcissists who are attorneys (and they seem to attract other narcissists to be clients... .ugh).  Yours sounds careless more than narcissistic, but I am sure there is more you are not sharing.

Mistakes are made.  We have always helped our attorney gather evidence, prepare, etc.  He doesn't do everything we ask, but we will give him questions that he could ask, etc.  I will say that I always thought he was quite smart and reasonable, but after watching him question the kids and BPD mom in the last hearing, I now think he is brilliant.  :-)

[kathclapp]

It did work out eventually and truth to tell he wasn't as expensive as other lawyers but I always felt he was working within the typical framework and didn't aim for more proactive strategies.