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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Rough day - Saw her having fun online but removed her man, will it last  (Read 454 times)
Confused99
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 99


« on: July 17, 2016, 12:05:45 PM »

Been over a month NC.  Came across some pics of her on her social media of her on a boat, all dressed up on a island etc.  in the pics she actually cropped her bf out so its just her.  She's in the honeymoon phase as she visits him only a few days a week and basically travels.  Just down a bit seeing her recover so quick.  Is this just in my head?   Will she be the demon I know?   All she goes after is guys with money.  She's a pretty girl but will date anyone.  This one 30 years older then her at 28.  He started liking all her social media stuff but she has not posted or followed him.  Any thoughts on this also?   Thx everyone.
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Moselle
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1899


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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2016, 02:37:04 PM »

Confused, it sounds like you are in pain. Sorry to hear that. It is very normal and part of the grieving  process. She cut the new bf out of her photo. What is that saying?
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rj47
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced after 30 years. Still care, but moved on.
Posts: 198



« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2016, 06:09:07 PM »

She cut the new bf out of her photo. What is that saying?

Most likely the embarrassment of a 58 year old man with a 28 year old. Maybe she has enough sense not post such a tacky thing. It won't likely last long. A little creepy even.
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"It's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain."
Confused99
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 99


« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2016, 06:15:09 PM »

She uses people.  It's amazing she's pretty hot but will date anyone.  She posted that all her friends are going away with them this weekend to party.  I wish it didn't bother me.  I mean the cards aren't in his favor but I still wonder.  Do you think it will last?
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Hopefulgirl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 113


« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2016, 07:36:18 PM »

If you say she likes men with money and this guy has alot and she has BPD then most likely the money makes her feel secure and stable. There are alot of reasons why women date older wealthy men. My BPD guy has never even dated a woman who doesn't have money, or whose family doesnt.

The whole thing about posting things online gets tricky. In the situation with my BPD ex he makes it look like on fb that he doesn't even have a girlfriend, doesn't even click "like" on pics of the two of them half the time... .but the woman he's with acts like she is engaged to the love of her life.   Honestly, I think he does that because he doesn't want the rest of his female fb "friends" to think he is taken.

Your ex just rebounded and you have to make the decision to watch their relationship crumble or do yourself a favor and block the whole thing. One day the "new" guy will probably contact you to commiserate.

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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2016, 09:34:36 PM »

Hi Confused99,

Welcome

Your ex just rebounded and you have to make the decision to watch their relationship crumble or do yourself a favor and block the whole thing. One day the "new" guy will probably contact you to commiserate.

I'm sorry that things are difficult right now. I can see how that would hurt to see a picture of your ex.  I agree with Hopefulgirl, its anyone's guess as to how long the relationship will last but blocking your ex for self protection and self care will speed up your recovery.
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Circle
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 517


« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2016, 12:46:13 AM »

Hi C99,
Your ex probably has a real disorder, and no one doubts that they do; people don't end up on these boards for 'fun'. In which case, their disordered/difficult behavior is going to show signs before too long, if not right away-as in my personal experience. Keep journaling all the awful things you remember. It is so useful to recall the depths of depravity with which were treated. Just this morning, I pulled out a journal. I was reminded of our first Valentines together, where my ex dumped me, among other things. It doesn't take long to figure out that they are off; they don't exactly make a secret of it.
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