Get several legal consultations with family law attorneys. You will need a proactive problem solver. You would not be served well by a forms filing hand holder. Have you researched William A. Eddy's web site and it's resources? He's the co-author of the highly recommended handbook
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder — it is also listed on our Book Reviews board.
www.HighConflictInstitute.comLet the peer support here be your emotional sounding board. We can help with ideas, strategies and overall solutions and alternatives.
- A 4 year marriage is generally considered a short marriage. (When you arrived here over 2 years ago it was a one year marriage. Sadly, inaction sometimes isn't the best choice.) The sooner you resolve this, the better.
- Alimony is unlikely, but if it did become an issue then at least it would be very short and certainly no longer than half the marriage. (My marriage was over 15 years and alimony was based on 2 months for every year.) These days alimony is becoming seen as assistance in the transition out of the marriage.
- No children together means you avoid the custody and child support issues. (You didn't adopt her children, right?)
- For the first year of the marriage she continued living in her country. Has she since joined you? If so, then there should be no question about where the divorce would be.
- No time like the present to "rip the band aid off". She has every reason to delay, you have every reason to get it done. She has every reason to push for an outcome too much in her favor, you have every reason to keep it as close to possible to the unemotional law.
- Leverage — Whatever the outcome, make sure you keep some leverage, generally some $$$ in escrow, that is not released until she has completed all her terms in the settlement or order. You know you can and will comply, you also know she won't feel a need to comply. So don't release the last of your leverage until you have compliance.