exBPD applied for restraining order on me

[asphyx]

My exBPD and I broke up two months ago and she would not stop harassing me for the first month. She would send me tons of messages and try to call me every day. I met her after a month to discuss a few things, and for the last month have been complete NC. I thought she was gone for good, but today the police showed up and informed me that she has applied for a restraining order on me. She told them that I had been physically abusive towards her, forced her to have sex with me, pushed her down the stairs, put a tracking device on her phone, hacked her facebook, stalked her, etc. These claims are absolute bullsh*t, as you'd expect from a BPD.

Anyway, the police believed my side of the story and suggested that I go court and contest the order, bringing proof of her threats (I still have all the text messages she sent me, including an email where she said she would kill me). The problem is I don't want to see her, and I know I'm just going to be worrying what will happen for the next 2 weeks until the court date. I'm thinking of just letting her get the restraining order and continuing to never contact her again so I can get on with my life.

She's found a replacement so I don't even know why she's wasting her time with this crap. I thought she would be completely focused on impressing her new replacement but I guess she isn't. I just want to move on, it's so annoying.

Why is she doing this? Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do?

[GoingBack2OC]

Dude. Literally had the exact same experience.

My ex called the police, went to the courthouse and file for a CPO as "revenge" because a few nights before I had to call 911 to have someone go check on her because she was acting insane, and threatened to kill me over text messages.

Needless to say, she was not happy when the police arrived to check on her. However I made it clear to 911 when I called that it needed to be a wellfare check, not to arrest, etc. And they didn't arrest her. But she was, let's just say. Not happy.

So 5 days later, Sherrifs are trying to serve me with papers. Long story short. She went in, filed the CPO, which was filled with crazy exaggerations and literally lies. She went nuts on the form, and litterally filled the "Why" section full, then started writing in a circle, up the side upsidedown the top, back down the other side, and then the bottom.

So the cops came when I wasn't home. I called as they left a card. I didn't even know about it of course until the card as she was giving me ST.

Then I find out, she had, the next morning, gone back to the court and said it was just a misunderstanding and she didn't mean it.

They basically said... .you swore under penalty of perjury... .theres no going back.

So... .

I meet the cops away from my home to avoid embarrassment, they were super understanding. I own a small firearm, which technically they are supposed to take. They read the papers she filled out, and said, look, keep your gun, it will be a pain for you to get back. I mean, it was clearly obvious she was crazy.

While I'm talking to the police... .my phone is blowing up, her texting me, calling me. They are watching this. Serving me papers that I am an "Immanent Threat" to her safety, and she's texting me like crazy.

In closing, hired a lawyer to do a cheap mediation as you can't contact once served.

If you've been served... .DO NOT RESPOND. DO NOT ANSWER. IF SHE SHOWS UP, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR. CALL THE POLICE.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT underestimate the power of this filing. First, she is the woman, the court will 100% take her side.

Second, if you contact her, even if she calls you... .that's right, she calls you, and you talk to her. You have violated the temporary order, and you will 100% end up in handcuffs if she let's it be known.

The lawyer drew up a simple document, which we both signed, saying, essentially, it was all BS and I hadnt seen her in over a week... .hadnt been to her place, never hurt her, hit her, everything. And that she agreed to not appear.

If she doesnt appear to the hearing, it will be dropped - without prejudice. Meaning, she can refile at any time.

Unless you contest and file a motion to dismiss WITH prejudice, meaning it can't be re-entered.

Now my ex and I, both did not want to go to court, and we signed that agreement, and her form she filled out made the cops think she was actually the crazy one. So given that. I was ok just not showing, neither did she, and I got a call from the clerk it was dropped.

If you think she is going to pursue it, you 100% NEED to hire a lawyer. It will cost a few grand, but you do not want this on your record.

It will prevent you from all sorts of things, owning a gun, being anywhere near her. AND if she calls you, shows up at your home-- you will be in handcuffs. It is a ONE WAY order. You cannot see call talk etc to her.

They last I think 1 year. And it will always be on your record.

If it gets dropped with or without prejudice... .it will still always be "on file". Impossible to remove. They don't expunge them. Period. But they are treated under "family court" guidelines, which means they do not show up in databases, or online, you would have to go to the actual courthouse to find the record of it- family court = privacy.

But take it VERY seriously. Do not call her to say a lawyer will call her. Have a lawyer call her. Do not send her messages through a mutual friend. NO communication.

In the end, I was really upset. But it was over quick, and yea, it's a document in a building downtown, but it will never see the light of day, and honestly, everyone, from the clerk, to the sherrif, to the cops who served me, said it looked insane.

Good luck, happy to answer questions if you need.

[GoingBack2OC]

OH, and take 30 minutes, write down and document everything, a record. While it's fresh.

[GoingBack2OC]

Sorry one last point. If you want it dropped with prejudice, meaning, she can't re enter it later with the same claims. You need a lawyer. Period. If she is not going to show, but you still want it with prejudice, you need a lawyer still.

If its that cut and dry, she doesnt show, you can likely get a lawyer for like $1000 bucks to do the filing, the motion, etc. They will speak for you.

[asphyx]

I should've mentioned I live in Australia. I did some research and it says that it is NOT a criminal matter in Australia. Only if you breach the order it becomes a criminal matter and goes on your record. So it's not as big of a deal as it is in America.

Either way I guess I should contest it anyway. The police officer said that I can get one placed on her instead. I don't really want to do it but it seems like it might be the only way to get her completely out of my life so I can move on properly.

[married21years]

counter serve her!