Hi Birdey,

I'd like to join

galaxy and welcome you. I'm so sorry that you're familu is having a hard time. It helps to talk to people that can relate with you and you don't have to go through this alone.
How do we welcome her, make her feel important and loved. She rejects all attempts and close conversations and will never ever speak of anything remotely personal.
A pwBPD feel more negative feelings that positive ones, are hyper-critical about themselves, often there's an underlying clinical depressing, have low self esteem and low self worth. A pwBPD need a lot of validation, I find that validation helps with communicating with my ex wife that is undiagnosed and displays traits of BPD.
Encouraging Peace in a BPD Family - Alan Fruzzetti, Ph.D [Video]A pwBPD have a hard time seeing people and the world as integrated whole with good and bad qualities, good people have bad qualities and bad people have good qualities, and see people as either "all good" or "all bad". It helps to not take the behavior personally to weather the storm, it's not personal to us, it's something that a BPD sufferer is going through at the time.