When Dreams are Better than Reality

[JJacks0]

Last night I had a series of dreams that were all centered around my ex in some way.

One that I had right before waking up really did a number on me... .and I feel pretty set back now.

I dreamt that I was in my car outside of my ex's work. I was having car trouble, I didn't actually intend to be there. When I realized where I was I panicked, and when I looked over I saw her in the store window. She must have seen me too, and she sent me a text and called me. I didn't answer, freaked out and left, but eventually went back. She gave me a big hug and smiled her adorable little smile... .said all the things you'd want to hear. It felt so real. I felt happier for a moment in that dream than I've felt for over a month in real life (it has been 1 month today since I've heard her voice).

Waking up from that dream was a nightmare. I had been in a somewhat better place lately - I think the NC and keeping distracted has just kept me from regularly feeling the intense emotions I still feel about her. I've still thought of her several times daily, but I never let it get too far and I try to distance myself from the painful thoughts. I've honestly just tried to build a wall and block them out. That dream kind of forced them upon me, made me feel it again. It was a brutal reminder of how much I love her and how much I miss her. It felt so raw, like pulling a scab off a wound.
It made me want to contact her, although I still won't... .I guess more so it made me want her to contact me.

I have posted in this section before and with the help of others, came to the realization that it isn't time to break NC yet. Things like this just make it so hard.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Circle]

No doubt! Having it mess up your sleep is the worst. My anxiety meds really helped with that. They calmed my mind and put me at ease; and, I could fall back asleep. Hang in there with whatever you are trying to achieve, using 'no contact' as a tool. Just remember, it is only one tool of dealing with the situation, out of a box full of tools. Take care-

[JJacks0]

Thanks, Circle.

I definitely think I could benefit from anxiety medication. My therapist referred me to a psychiatrist who decided to prescribe me an anti-depressant. That's not really something I want to start taking, so I declined. I think I'll try talking to a different doctor and look into just treating the anxiety.

[Meili]

Staying grounded and radically accepting that which you cannot change will also help with the anxiety.

My therapist had me, at times when the anxiety seemed too great for me to cope, find three things in the room to look at (one at a time) and describe them, out loud if I could, to myself. Then repeat that with three things that I could touch/feel, smell, taste, and hear. I would work through each of the sense describing the objects. It takes the focus off whatever is causing the anxiety and keeps you in the moment.

Radical acceptance does the same type of thing. It forces you to only deal with what is in the present that you are actually in control over.

[Circle]

Yes. Meditation helps also; and basic meditation techniques can be found online. I do both. My anxiety prescription was given to me by my family doctor. You probably don't need to see a psychiatrist.