BPD & Social Media

[insideoutside]

Hi all

I've often wondered why my friend deactivates/reactivates his Facebook from time to time and especially seems to deactivate it when he discards me/goes into a depression.  His Facebook has remained deactivated for nearly 4 weeks since the last discard.  I note on another posters thread that his ex has since deactivated her Facebook since their last interaction.  Why do they do this?  Is it to ensure no contact or a cry for attention?  It confuses me no end with my friend, especially as he never used it the way most people do; he has one profile picture and no friends and you couldn't friend request him either.  It was literally used by him for people to contact him.  And snooping on my Facebook account at times.  

What's your take on this behaviour?  After doing some research, emotional immaturity was cited as one of the reasons so it definitely seems related to 'not coping' with life.  I know some people take breaks from Facebook when life overwhelms them but my friend has been known to do it several times in a week sometimes.

[SheAskedForaBreak]

I don't know why he does it, but I have an ex who does the same thing.  She would block me only to send me a friend request later.  She will occasionally deactivate her page, but I'm never sure why.  The better question is why do we care?  Why do you and I spend our time worrying about their motivations?  They are not healthy, they need to get help and likely we don't have the tools to give them the help they need.  In the experiences I've had with two people who were dealing with significant PD issues neither of them wanted to go to a therapist and thought that their issues were just, "everyone else's problems".  You're a good friend, caring for your friend w/ BPD, but you deserve a life too.  Don't forget to care for yourself during these times as well.

[Anez]

My ex one time deleted Instagram, telling me everybody and everything on there was fake and she was over it.

A few days later she put it back on her phone and was back to posting.

I think it just speaks for the inner turmoil that goes on with their thoughts on how everyone else is doing ok while inside their heads they are a wreck. and from time to time they need to take a break from the social media.

but who knows.

[FlSunshineGirl]

I've wondered the same thing.
My exBPDbf leaves his deactivated and activates it daily just to "snoop" I'm guessing just to deactivate it right away.
He had it up for awhile until he broke up with my replacement #1. Then he found replacement #2 and had her as a FB friend, then deleted her. Then changed his profile pic to a picture of something I made him. Then he deactivated his FB and I still see it from time to time briefly and it's still the same profile pic of the item I made for him. Strange!
I found his new partner on Instagtam and he's not following her. And I found his Instagram and he has no posts, no pics, no followers but it's the same pic of the item I made him like on his FB.
I think for some with BPD it's a way to still feel connected to those who are not in their lives anymore or try to see what they are up to.

[PolandSpring4]

My exBPDgf blocked me on facebook, but she'll occasionally unblock me on  facebook messenger. She doesn't say anything, but I'll see the green dot appear next to her name for 5 minutes at random times. I think she enjoyed that I tried to reach out to her for a couple months after the break even though she would never reply. I've been NC for months now, but she still checks randomly. Kinda weird.

[maddy786]

It was same with my exBPDgf. She blocks me in fb whenever she posts pics but she is a available in fb messenger. One of our common friend told me that she has new phone number, fb acct, instagram and what not. I have been in 3 years relationship with her and during that time also she had "rebooted" herself twice and now i understand why. She was cheating on me since i met and when she found a new toy she dropped old ones and changed everything so that her ex wont contact her. But when i checked her phone before breakup she had all her ex numbers. She even added her ex in fb but blocks them seeing her posts. Weird. I think she maintains a cupboard of ex's so that she can reach out to them on a rainy day !