1000 times NO

[JerryRG]

I will never speak to you again
I will never look into those lying eyes
I will never hold out any hope
I will never care again
I will never think of you
I will never wonder why
I will never go back to you
Even if I have to die
There's only one keeping us together
It's time to say,
Good bye.

I can't do this anymore
I can't even walk
I'm broke
I'm sick
I cannot fight her evil any longer

I DID NOT RAPE YOU!
I DID NOT BEAT YOU!
I DID NOT KILL YOU!

But I sure as hell will defeat you

Take your hell, take your death and I vow today it's done.

There's one who holds me in bondage to you

I must and will say good bye

Too

Our

Only

Son.

[Larmoyant]

Jerry, what's happening today? Are you considering leaving your boy? Are you ok?

[Sadly]

Hey JerryG, what's occurring ? PM me if you want to. Thank you for your support yesterday.
Love from Sadly x

[maddy786]

Hey Jerry, dont take any drastic steps, believe in yourself. I know how it feels, but we have to go through this for better tomorrow.

[heartandwhole]

Hey JerryRG,

What's happening? Your post sounds ominous. Let us know what's going on. We all care about you  

heartandwhole

[JerryRG]

I'm just burnt out

Yesterday the teachers helping our son wanted to meet with both parents to discuss our sons development and future needs.

I told our sons grandmother there is no way in he## I will be within 500 yards of her daughter after her email stating I raped her, beat her and killed her.

Nope, nada and never again.

She so eloquently pointed out I would have to deal with her daughter for the next 16 years.

That thought alone set off alarms from my toes to the top of my head. Nope, nada, never again.

I'm out, I'm done, I'm walking away.

The bottom line truth is, his mother will not get well, she cannot take care of our son and the longer I do care for him the longer she can stay sick and hide out in her delusions.

If I walk away she will hit bottom, and lose her mind once more and she will give up our son.

I don't have legal representation yet and this back and forth with her is over. She's beat me up, and is trying to kill me.

So, I stay this course and nothing changes or I walk away and allow her to self destruct.

My chemo is killing me, nothing I can do to change it, I'm worthless as a father and I'm done pretending.

[Mutt]

Hi JerryRG,

Walk away from who? Your ex or your son or both?

My chemo is killing me, nothing I can do to change it, I'm worthless as a father and I'm done pretending.

Jerry, you're being really hard on yourself. Don't beat yourself up.

[Turkish]

Leaving your son with his mother to hit rock bottom, and your son will go down with her, and you'll have more problems.

Request a separate meeting with the teachers. It's your right. If it were me, I'd even tell them why if they resisted.

We have one member on the board who's been parenting separately for a decade now after ending up in jail for two weeks due to the ex. We have others who parent separately after DV and CPS investigations instigated by the borderline exes. They don't see their exes. Reach out for others on co parenting to see how it's done, because their stories demonstrate it's possible.

[Sadly]

Dear JerryG
You are not worthless as a father, you know you are not and the love for your boy shines out through all your posts. What you are right now is very very depressed. Listen to the advice here and see your pastor too as soon as you can. I know you hold him in high esteem and he will help you. Lean on everyone sweetheart, they won't let you fall.
Love from Sadly x 

[stimpy]

Jerry, your post brought tears to my eyes. I don't know what to say apart from take your time before deciding what to do. As for advice, I think Turkish has it... .

Leaving your son with his mother to hit rock bottom, and your son will go down with her, and you'll have more problems.

Request a separate meeting with the teachers. It's your right. If it were me, I'd even tell them why if they resisted.

We have one member on the board who's been parenting separately for a decade now after ending up in jail for two weeks due to the ex. We have others who parent separately after DV and CPS investigations instigated by the borderline exes. They don't see their exes. Reach out for others on co parenting to see how it's done, because their stories demonstrate it's possible.

Maybe this is the time to think about what solution will work for you long term and perhaps co-parenting, but with no direct communication with your son's mother is the only way forward?

Stay strong, Stimpy

[JerryRG]

Thanks everyone

Spoke with a lawyer today, gave him the court records of my parental rights that the judge granted me. Lawyer said after reading my court records he would decide what the best coarse of action to be. He may present the evidence of her behaviours to the judge.

Mother didn't show up to the school conference this morning so the teachers called me at work for teleconference.

Mother was suppose to pick our son up this afternoon and grandma told me to pick him up after 4pm, she said she would be there by 3pm. Found out today mother doesn't have a phone, guess $450 don't last long and she lives in low income housing.

Her bf shows up just as I'm walking out of dc with my son, I hand him over and my son screamed and cried. I told the bf if he harms my son or says he's giving him away again I will break him in half.

I know it's wrong but I am angry and he's a punk.

I'm angry and frustrated that his mother cannot be responsible enough to do what our son needs.

I know I'm upsetting myself, no one has the power to do that to me.

I still want to walk away and let her crash and burn but my son will suffer

I asked the bf if he were a Christian and he said yes. I asked if a Christian man would live off a child's support money and if that wasn't harming my son.

He said he wasn't worried about anything.

My lawyer said the bf spent 6 years living on the streets, he would put up with anything.

 

[Moselle]

Hey Jerry

It sounds like you're having a tough time at the moment.

Hang in there. Things will get better

[JerryRG]

Thanks Moselle

I'm going to be ok no matter what happens, my son may not be. Tough time for us both, nothing we can't handle.

I got that woman out of my life, that is one event I'm eternally grateful for.

[fromheeltoheal]

Tough time for us both, nothing we can't handle.

There you go.  Tough day Jerry, I'm glad you're getting back to you.

I got that woman out of my life, that is one event I'm eternally grateful for.

Well, she's not quite out of your life yet, but you have been doing well at getting her out of your serenity.  And it's not a linear process, although two steps forward and one back is still one step forward yes?

[JerryRG]

That is true fromheeltoheal

I really am grateful for all the wonderful support I get inside these walls. Thanks again

[maddy786]

Hey Jerry
Be strong. I know you left your exBPD, but it takes a toll on your son. Be brave and you will get through this situation.

[Moselle]

I'm going to be ok no matter what happens

That's the spirit. Of course you are going to be ok.

The trick is remembering, when we are in the fire that we are going to be ok.

Well done.

One day at a time. That's how we overcome

[Mutt]

Hi JerryRG,

I still want to walk away and let her crash and burn but my son will suffer

I know that it's emotionally difficult with chemo therapy, court, ex, her bf. There's a lot going on, it will be behind you one day but I know that doesn't help you today. My advice is come from the perspective of your son and what is best for him when your dealing with lawyers and the court, forget about all of the drama with your ex and her bf. Always come from his perspective. My last bit of advice is FIGHT.  Fight for your son. Hang in there.

[JerryRG]

Thank you Mutt, picked him up today and we are playing in a sandbox at the park.

Thank you, thank you.

He needs me and I'm blessed to have you and everyone else here.

[Moselle]

icked him up today and we are playing in a sandbox at the park.

Brilliant. I know it's tempting to give up. Well done!

[JerryRG]

Thanks Moselle

Police called tonight, exgfs bf called them and reported what I told him yesterday.

The officer knows me well, knows the exgf too. Told me he understood and he didn't blame me or even ask I don't do it in the future. That punk going to give my son up? Give him away? He has no rights, no say, no responsibility over my son and the little creep is living off my son's child support! The officer was happy I found a lawyer to help and said "good, proceed with the lawyer and get your son away from those two"

I'm not being pushed around anymore, my son needs protection, he's going to get it from his only dad. The bf called me a liar about the ER doc informing me about him beating up my son's mother. I DO NOT LIE

[Turkish]

It's good that you are connected with authorities that understand. 

My T advised me that I could use firm language that at first glance seemed threatening enough to break the law,  but when I thought about it,  no.  What he did tells me that he's scared of you.  Good. You said what you needed to say,  however,  so it's not (hopefully) necessary to repeat it.  You asserted a Dad boundary. He got the message.  When you see him next,  I wouldn't even telegraph that the cops called you.  Never volunteer information.  You have the Royal Flush.  Only play that hand when it comes time to call. 

[JerryRG]

Thank you Turkish

The facts are the bf spent 2 days in jail for assaulting my son's mother.

She text me in a panic about how abusive he is and she asked for my help to get away from him.

The jail time is real, the rest may not be, I still have to protect my son no matter what happened.

I believe the evidence is building into prof the bf is not fit to be around my son and that mother lacks the good judgement of not allowing violence around our son.

Either way these behaviours prove instability and danger for my son. Her bf is delusional in his beliefs, he actually told me his "god" told him I was lying when the truth is right in front of him. How could I simply make up a story that is factually true all by myself? The ER doc told me the truth and I later asked the bfs pastor who substantiated the same events then added the rest of the facts.

The bf says I'm lying about what the doctor said, it makes no sense to call me a liar. It either happened or it didn't.