Ghosted after being together 8 months

[stevepower]

My BPD partner has ghosted me. We've been together for 8 months and he ghosted me once after I found out he cheated on me which lasted for 5 days this past Oct. Everything was great after that. Went on a vacation and all was well.. We had a minor argument on the 20th of Feb, after his abusive ex made a fake instagram accnt and messafed him. he came and got his stuff from my place on the 21st and I haven't seen or heard from him since. He deleted me on snap, and isn't responding to texts or calls. Have I been painted black permanently? Should I expect to hear from him again? I went NC on Sunday and decided to stop chasing after him.

Any advice or previous experiences appreciated.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

As you’ve probably heard, NC is far more effective than chasing. Time will tell. In the meantime, focus on doing things you enjoy and spending time with friends.

[stevepower]

So an update, but not really.
It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow since our argument. Still haven't heard a word from him, he's gone complete radio silent.
I really thought I would have heard from him by now. A couple of days ago he blocked me on instagram which was weird because I never communicated with him on it.
I find myself in complete despair. I've lost 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks from the stress and lack of eating. I've tried to read up on BPD as much as I can but I just find it confusing me more.

[Cat Familiar]

It is confusing and people with BPD don’t think, feel, or behave the way emotionally healthy people do.

[So many questions]

I’m sorry for what you’re going through and how it feels. There really isn’t much I can say besides be strong and know something out there is working in your favor. You might not be able to see it. Heck, I still can’t. But I do know everything I’ve been through is for a much bigger purpose. I don’t think I’m suppose to know right now. I think I had to go through this to break my cycle of toxic lovers and codependency.

I’m in radio silence. My ex has found a replacement. I was a replacement. It’s a blessing in disguise. I am forced to look forward and stop holding onto hope.

The thing that keeps me focused. They did cheat on us. Mine during the honeymoon phase, 6 months in(with ex), 9 months in(with ex).

If someone really loved you, and knew you were not okay with infidelity, they simply wouldn’t do it. If they messed up, they would apologize and realize how hard it is to find out. They’d be there to reassure you cause their own choices broke you.

That never happens. Do you really want to hear back from someone who did that or is it an ego/codependency?

It’s so hard to let go. They were amazing. You clicked with them genuinely. But they are broken. They mirrored your love. YOUR LOVE. You truly loved someone and gave your life to them; that is admirable and something to be proud of.

I hope he never contacts you again for your own well being.

[stevepower]

Update: I reached out to his Grandma this morning to let her know I have some of his stuff still. My partner, I guess ex now, hasn't apparently mentioned a word of the break up to his family which isn't at all surprising since he knows I'm on good terms with them. His Grandma is going to swing by in a week to pick up the rest of his belongings. I'm still as lost as the day he left and none of it makes sense to me. Thankfully I have a therapy session later today.