Huge step forward

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

As I've posted before, my settlement conference court order gave me lots of extra time. A clause in the order was misinterpreted and manipulated by Xw, against her lawyers advice Xw was quick to jump on the clause and I lost a lot of access time. I was heart broken but I accepted it and kept pushing forward, didn't like it but had to accept it. Yesterday out of the blue the judge tells my L and xw's L that he is striking that clause out of the order and my extra access time is to restart. The judge said he is not flip flopping the child back and forth between different court orders. I was elated to say the least but fear not, Xw sent my a text that took care of any good feelings I might have. Her text was very belittling to me. My heart sank at her words. Tonight s10 is with me, we talked, poor little fella was all confused about the back and forth in the court orders. Xw made it sound in her texts how selfish I was. It was her that pushed that flip flopped with the order and caused the confusion. She put s10 through this unnecessary heartache but I'm the one who is selfish. Maybe her belittling text to me was actually how she felt about herself.

[bus boy]

As I've posted before, my settlement conference court order gave me lots of extra time. A clause in the order was misinterpreted and manipulated by Xw, against her lawyers advice Xw was quick to jump on the clause and I lost a lot of access time. I was heart broken but I accepted it and kept pushing forward, didn't like it but had to accept it. Yesterday out of the blue the judge tells my L and xw's L that he is striking that clause out of the order and my extra access time is to restart. The judge said he is not flip flopping the child back and forth between different court orders. I was elated to say the least but fear not, Xw sent my a text that took care of any good feelings I might have. Her text was very belittling to me. My heart sank at her words. Tonight s10 is with me, we talked, poor little fella was all confused about the back and forth in the court orders. Xw made it sound in her texts how selfish I was. It was her that pushed that flip flopped with the order and caused the confusion. She put s10 through this unnecessary heartache but I'm the one who is selfish. Maybe her belittling text to me was actually how she felt about herself.

[david]

Son was confused... .I would simply say that the judge makes decsions and you and ex have to follow them. I always put the court/judge as the one making those decsions.
My ex left in 2007. It took until sometime in 2010 that her emails had no effect on me. I still get nasty emails (not as many) and simply save them in case I need them for court.

[Dontknow88]

As I've posted before, my settlement conference court order gave me lots of extra time. A clause in the order was misinterpreted and manipulated by Xw, against her lawyers advice Xw was quick to jump on the clause and I lost a lot of access time. I was heart broken but I accepted it and kept pushing forward, didn't like it but had to accept it. Yesterday out of the blue the judge tells my L and xw's L that he is striking that clause out of the order and my extra access time is to restart. The judge said he is not flip flopping the child back and forth between different court orders. I was elated to say the least but fear not, Xw sent my a text that took care of any good feelings I might have. Her text was very belittling to me. My heart sank at her words. Tonight s10 is with me, we talked, poor little fella was all confused about the back and forth in the court orders. Xw made it sound in her texts how selfish I was. It was her that pushed that flip flopped with the order and caused the confusion. She put s10 through this unnecessary heartache but I'm the one who is selfish. Maybe her belittling text to me was actually how she felt about herself.

Hello. For sure the text was about herself. You should read the book "stop walking on eggshells" it has helped me to understand a tad bit.

[ForeverDad]

Yes, it's not about the child's welfare, it is morphed into blaming and guilting.  It is to some extent predictable, especially since she knows it will get under your skin, your reasonably normal and positive qualities are seen by her as your weakness.

Give some attention to yourself.  Ponder how you can distance yourself from the emotional impact of her barbs and sabotages.  If you have a counselor then discuss that.  Some have noticed that once we don't react to the attacks then the Ex sometimes will focus elsewhere.  Probably not now, but perhaps in time.