New text, confused, can you help me understand please?

[Larmoyant]

L -
I too still have moments of sheer disbelief, which I know is causing anxiety.  And when I get it... .it's an all over body feeling that sometimes lasts all day.  I'm extremely tired of it at this point.  But... .some days it isn't there and those days are becoming more frequent as time passes and I reiterate the belief in myself that I can and will move on without her and be happy again.  You can too.

Can you stop all physical contact (technology-related or not) and do you want to?  It'll be tough to recover without it.

bestintentions, I can relate to the intense anxiety and thankfully also the calmer days when I can see some light in all this. Believe it or not I've stopped all physical contact and haven't physically seen him since March! I don't initiate contact, nor look at FB, I have kept away from mutual friends for fear of them telling me he's with someone else, just couldn't take that news on top of all the rest of it, yet I still respond to his text messages. I'm still attached in some way even though it's been nine months since I ended it. I can't seem to cut the final string. It hurts too much.

[Larmoyant]

The riddle has been solved, but this is really sad.

I felt compelled to try to understand what he meant by sending me this text so today I asked him what it meant. He said I'd pocket dialed him and he'd heard me talking to a male.

I checked my log and this part was true. My son had been playing around with my phone and had misdialed his number. He must have overheard us speaking and in his mind heard us say the above only that conversation never took place! I'm shocked. All I can recall talking to my son about was his music. I don't discuss my ex with my son.

My first instinct was to try to explain, but that would be jading so I just said sorry for the misdial, easily done and that I'd been talking to A who'd come by to steal some food. I said I still didn't understand his message. I then asked if he was OK. He responded saying he was good, thanks. I said good to hear. I hope your wrist has improved and that's that.

I'm really not sure what else I can do. It seems he really believes he heard us saying this and wrote what he heard to me! He is hurt by something that was never said!

I just feel sad for him and sad for me. I want to reach out to him, want to tell him that he's wrong, that the conversation he thinks he overheard never took place, but what would be the point? I'm not sure whether to try or not. He really is unwell and I feel sorry for him if he thought I said this. This isn't normal and I'm at a loss.

[C.Stein]

This sounds incredibly painful. I wish I had something to say that would help you, but I can relate especially not wanting to believe the bad things he did, but those things are becoming increasingly clear to me. When memories surface I write them down as it helps and it stops me sinking into denial. I cannot afford to let the bad memories go right now as they are my lifeline, a reminder of the danger he poses. What you describe, your trap, sounds painful, but I doubt you have been forgotten.

I do still feel pain, physically and emotionally.  It is not nearly as bad as it was, much less frequent as time goes by, but it is still there.  Sometimes memories cause a reaction within me like it just happened yesterday.  It doesn't last that long but the strength of the emotion and reaction confuses me.

I encourage you to explore what is trapping you.  Time helps free you from the trap and wounds it creates, but you need to stop keeping the wound fresh or the clock rewinds.  If I may suggest, you might look at a possible compassion/codependent trap.  If you can identify the trap then maybe you can find a way to free yourself from it. 

[C.Stein]

I'm really not sure what else I can do. It seems he really believes he heard us saying this and wrote what he heard to me! He is hurt by something that was never said!

There is nothing you can do.  You know borderlines are adept at distorting reality.  Regardless of the misdial, I still feel his intent was to pull your strings.  Be wary of making excuses for his behavior.

I just feel sad for him and sad for me. I want to reach out to him, want to tell him that he's wrong, that the conversation he thinks he overheard never took place, but what would be the point? I'm not sure whether to try or not. He really is unwell and I feel sorry for him if he thought I said this. This isn't normal and I'm at a loss.

This is something you will just have to find a way to accept.  There are so many disillusions and distortions of reality/truth that I want to dispel with my ex ... .so so many.   I have to find a way to accept that no matter what I might say to her, at the end of the day she will believe what she needs to believe, be it truth or not.  

Realize and understand this L!  He will believe what he needs to believe, reality and truth are not important.  Nothing you say or do will ever change that.