Utter confusion

[Pamy]

I recently was left again by my girlfriend of 5 years. She was diagnosed with BPD almost 20 years ago and has never stayed in therapy long enough to get to the root of the issue. She goes for a few sessions and then quits and blames the therapist. Everything just seems so foreign to me I see things that never actually happened and am starting to believe them and question my own reality. Which is so strange to me because I have always seen things pretty clearly. I want to help her so much and love her more and more. I can see what she puts herself through and it hurts so bad to watch her self destruct. I try to understand what she must feel and the sad thing is I am starting to almost feel what she does. Never ever been so in love and so confused at the same time.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[C.Stein]

Never ever been so in love and so confused at the same time.

Hey Pamy,

Yes, I sure do understand that feeling.  I also was very confused, both during and after my relationship ended.  I couldn't understand why my ex did things that were destructive to herself and our relationship.  She wanted our relationship to progress towards marriage and a family, yet she seemed hell bent on making sure that never happened.  It still confuses me to this day even though I can understand now how BPD played a roll in the destructive behavior.

It is important you don't make her problems and dysfunction your own.  Try to remain a detached observer, don't internalize her chaos or you run the risk of getting lost in it.

Please feel free to share more of your story and I encourage you to check out the articles found on the right ----->