BPD daughter

[Upsetmom]

My teen has BPD , and she is so aggressive, she manipulates me, bully me and the verbal abuse...

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[VitaminC]

Hi Upsetmom,



I am glad you found us and am sure that you will connect with other parents who will know what you are going through and be able to offer you their own experiences and insights.  It's good you reach out as it sounds as if  you are having a hard time dealing with your daughter at the moment.

Has your teen been officially diagnosed? How is your relationship in general and has it changed recently? Have you support from other family members?

Tell us more, please, so members can help. Also feel free to read other member's stories here and make use of the site's resources - the banner here on the right of this message is a good place to start?

Keep posting, Upsetmom, it really does help to write it out and to make contact with others.

 

[Upsetmom]

Hi again...   Replying... ... ..yes my daughter was diagnosed BPD by the doctors at the Royal OTTAWA Mental health clinic


I'm rusty at this sorry, ive looked for help and no one will help ... Because she is 16 she has the legal right to refuse it,

[PaulaJeanne]

Hello Upset Mom, that's how I've felt for years.
Lately I've been working with a good therapist (for me) who has really helped me in setting boundaries & limits. If you look at the tools on this website, they explain it exactly. But working with the therapist has helped me to talk through my actual situations and even role play how I'm going to  handle them. I've found my thought process has actually changed when it comes to setting my boundaries, not just with my BPD daughter but with other people in my life as well.
Recently I started consistently using S.E.T. when my daughter starts her raging. Probably because I've gotten so strong about my own boundaries, she's unable to push my buttons like she used to. So when I start talking to her using SET, she actually listens. At this moment she thinks I'm walking on water (which can change with the wind),. It's what they call splitting... .I'm the good guy right now, her dad is the devil, and her husband is black one minute, white the next. BTW my daughter is 23, battling addiction, and has a 9 month old son. They all live with us!