I can't understand

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I believe my ex is uBPD. This is the 6th time he has cheated and it is a vicious cycle. When I feel we are finally secure again in out relationship, he cheats. He tells me a million excuses as to why it is justified and my fault. Now he is with her and I am left holding on to the kids who are falling apart and the house we just bought. He tells me he just needed a ring on his finger? It's like he can't turn down advances? Is this crazy? I never understand when this happens and never see it coming! How do I move on?

[helpinghimorme]

I believe my ex is uBPD. This is the 6th time he has cheated and it is a vicious cycle. When I feel we are finally secure again in out relationship, he cheats. He tells me a million excuses as to why it is justified and my fault. Now he is with her and I am left holding on to the kids who are falling apart and the house we just bought. He tells me he just needed a ring on his finger? It's like he can't turn down advances? Is this crazy? I never understand when this happens and never see it coming! How do I move on?

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi helping-

How do I move on?

Well, first, if he's cheated 6 times that means you've taken him back 5 times in the past yes?  So what's different this time?  Are you committed to ending the relationship and detaching?

[helpinghimorme]

He isn't willing to do anything different to help himself. I feel like I just enable him to be so destructive.

[fromheeltoheal]

He isn't willing to do anything different to help himself. I feel like I just enable him to be so destructive.

OK, good self-awareness helpinghim.  If you were going to do exactly what you wanted to do, what would it be?

[helpinghimorme]

Save him.

But I can't accomplish that, I've tried for 11 years. Now I need to save myself and the kids.