18 years in and finally getting help

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi - I'm reading "Walking on Eggshells" and it feels like the earth has tilted. It's not me! My wife is classic "high-performing" description. I am classic enabling partner. I have determined I need to get out to have happy life. Have 16 and 11 year old daughters and I feel like I'm family cheerleader so it's killing me. Know I need to find therapist for myself. Guess that's my question - what's best way to find one who understands what I'm going through?

Thanks - I'm in Dallas area.

[finallyhere]

Hi - I'm reading "Walking on Eggshells" and it feels like the earth has tilted. It's not me! My wife is classic "high-performing" description. I am classic enabling partner. I have determined I need to get out to have happy life. Have 16 and 11 year old daughters and I feel like I'm family cheerleader so it's killing me. Know I need to find therapist for myself. Guess that's my question - what's best way to find one who understands what I'm going through?

Thanks - I'm in Dallas area.

[C.Stein]

That light bulb moment can be earth shaking. 

The best therapist will have experience with cluster B personality disorders, ideally with borderline being on the list of experience.  Are you looking for a therapist to help save your relationship? 

[finallyhere]

Thanks. No - I'm looking for therapist to help me get out and get healthy.

[C.Stein]

Feel free to share more of your story.  It does help tremendously to get it all out.   

[formflier]

Thanks. No - I'm looking for therapist to help me get out and get healthy.

I would ask the therapist if this is a "healthy" line of thinking.



I would suggest you consider a plan that is something like this:  I want to get to a healthy place, and then evaluate the future of my r/s.


Hang in there.  The lightbulb moment is a confusing time:  Some days you think "it" has been solved, then there is hopelessness.  Wash, rinse, repeat... .

It will get better.  Take it day by day. 

FF

[Lucky Jim]

Hey finallyhere, Welcome!  We understand what you're going through.  You're not alone, believe me.  Many of us have been down this path before you.  We "get it" in terms of the BPD dynamic you describe.  Feel free to share more of your situation and let us know if you have any particular questions.

LuckyJim