trapped, mentally drained

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

(call me josh)
        quick overview, im 27, met women online 8/1/16 shes 43 full blown BPD, was homeless at time shortly after meeting her moved in her house, born raised up north boardering ontario canada, found out this once to late, past almost 3 months done nothing but explain, try just ive put so much into understanding the disorder as its destroying me mentally living here, problem is it was sppse to be just "ill help u get on ur feet" now shes come onto me an we have sex, an i trie fighting the idea of relationship, made life harder, ao gave in, gone in continuous circles of destructive, manipulative, controlling, extreme events non stop, she uses everything against me, its all my fault, never accepting fault for anything, ive tried copeing since he refuses to control the extremes at all by fleeing the scene for a walk, she always sucks me in to fights, shes slapped me, she took my seriquil medication (whole bottle seriquil) and i found her still sleeping by dinner,

        didnt realise she tried killin herself withy
meds went into a coma for a week got out, acted like nothin happend went right back to the crap. Pushing me away she absolutly hates me then i pack completely stuff by door saying goodbye an she begs me to stay ive done this so much, over an overrr, mentally im drained but its cold outside an i wont survive, no family no friends, ive been sober since 8/15/15 recovering drug addict. literally would leave rite now if i could anywhere in america... i have zero options... its terrible, i feel so trapped an mentally getting demolished, ive done so much (.clearly in the wrong ways) to show her i care about her as i do, but shes too sick to carry this on, its not healthy at all, but being trapped i continue on, she'll say anythin possible to hurt me, then once she drags the episode to its end she takes a nap hiding from her emotions, asked her 1,000,000 times please, please get copeing skills to get it under raps, after most episodes of pure hate, shes left feeling like  realisinf what happend... .shes a loner she goes to work only few days week, copes fine there, yet comes home lets it all hang out with no care how i feel or im treated. 3 months of pure hell,

       talked her into trying DBT theropy but only goes once a week which how bad it gets dont think its enough but she doesnt care, (if she even really goes) everything in daily life here is extremes and total opposites... .its impossible for me im young at 27, yet homeless an trapped, like, social service could help takes 60 days to even get help, paperwork here monday morning its high priority... .but how ill even survive two more month i seriously doubt it will be possible. she really even believes "thats how she is" (the negotive extremes) she really thinks im trying to change her cuz im
asking her to cope... .every single topic or subject is turned an projected back on me like its all me an i have the issue, nothing is comprehended properly, its like i talk to a wall often... .and every single person in her life has left her as she cares less to cope, i do understand alot now as studied BPD an things are not her fault, but when shes aware ive tried for months to get her to cope in those episode moments an shes even promised me, it never happens im left hurt emotionally almost in tears very often as she goes an sleeps within five minutes... .ughhhh anyway somebody, anybody, please help me advice, i feel imcredibly helpless i almost am questioning my survival anymore, thank you very much in advanced for ANY help or advice... im just at my end, lile begging anybody for help, /b]

[god helpme pease]

(call me josh)
        quick overview, im 27, met women online 8/1/16 shes 43 full blown BPD, was homeless at time shortly after meeting her moved in her house, born raised up north boardering ontario canada, found out this once to late, past almost 3 months done nothing but explain, try just ive put so much into understanding the disorder as its destroying me mentally living here, problem is it was sppse to be just "ill help u get on ur feet" now shes come onto me an we have sex, an i trie fighting the idea of relationship, made life harder, ao gave in, gone in continuous circles of destructive, manipulative, controlling, extreme events non stop, she uses everything against me, its all my fault, never accepting fault for anything, ive tried copeing since he refuses to control the extremes at all by fleeing the scene for a walk, she always sucks me in to fights, shes slapped me, she took my seriquil medication (whole bottle seriquil) and i found her still sleeping by dinner,

        didnt realise she tried killin herself withy
meds went into a coma for a week got out, acted like nothin happend went right back to the crap. Pushing me away she absolutly hates me then i pack completely stuff by door saying goodbye an she begs me to stay ive done this so much, over an overrr, mentally im drained but its cold outside an i wont survive, no family no friends, ive been sober since 8/15/15 recovering drug addict. literally would leave rite now if i could anywhere in america... i have zero options... its terrible, i feel so trapped an mentally getting demolished, ive done so much (.clearly in the wrong ways) to show her i care about her as i do, but shes too sick to carry this on, its not healthy at all, but being trapped i continue on, she'll say anythin possible to hurt me, then once she drags the episode to its end she takes a nap hiding from her emotions, asked her 1,000,000 times please, please get copeing skills to get it under raps, after most episodes of pure hate, shes left feeling like  realisinf what happend... .shes a loner she goes to work only few days week, copes fine there, yet comes home lets it all hang out with no care how i feel or im treated. 3 months of pure hell,

       talked her into trying DBT theropy but only goes once a week which how bad it gets dont think its enough but she doesnt care, (if she even really goes) everything in daily life here is extremes and total opposites... .its impossible for me im young at 27, yet homeless an trapped, like, social service could help takes 60 days to even get help, paperwork here monday morning its high priority... .but how ill even survive two more month i seriously doubt it will be possible. she really even believes "thats how she is" (the negotive extremes) she really thinks im trying to change her cuz im
asking her to cope... .every single topic or subject is turned an projected back on me like its all me an i have the issue, nothing is comprehended properly, its like i talk to a wall often... .and every single person in her life has left her as she cares less to cope, i do understand alot now as studied BPD an things are not her fault, but when shes aware ive tried for months to get her to cope in those episode moments an shes even promised me, it never happens im left hurt emotionally almost in tears very often as she goes an sleeps within five minutes... .ughhhh anyway somebody, anybody, please help me advice, i feel imcredibly helpless i almost am questioning my survival anymore, thank you very much in advanced for ANY help or advice... im just at my end, lile begging anybody for help, /b]

[ArleighBurke]

Josh,

You are 27, with a 43yr old woman. And you are homeless. I am certainly sorry for the situation you are in, but I think you have a few things to work out for yourself. You cannot heal living with a woman with BPD - you need to leave. If it'll take 60days for your paperwork - start it now! Are there ANY other options you have? I've never been homeless, but I'd almost think being homeless is healthier for you than your current situation... .

[Herodias]

Do you have a job? You could get one while you have an address... .that would get you out of the house away from her and help yourself as well. How about family or friends? You have to help yourself here... .It sounds like your situation os horrible. Sorry you are struggling... .