Don't know what to do

[Aboutme2011]

After 15 years I caught my BPDH seeming to be cheating on me.  And from how it looks, he has been for many years.  He swears he never touched anyone. I have so much evidence of what he has done but did not catch him hands on.  Yet from what I have found, I believe he was seeing other people and that even when I caught on and we were trying to work it out this summer he didn't stop.  We separated Sept 1.

Anyhow, enter the love bombs and charm and so many other things.  Of course I love him.  But I realize that this is the "him" that I love.  15 years of anger and fighting, emotional abuse and tears.  That man I can never live with again. 

I am so torn right now.  I am trying to stay firm on my resolve to end it.  We are legally separated and only have a few more steps to go that all of our material and financial stuff will be split.  I keep telling myself that it would only be a matter of time before the real angry man will come back but my heart is arguing with my head. 

Any insights?
Thank you,
Stuck

[ArleighBurke]

Separating is a difficult process. Of course you feel conflicted. You love this man - you always will.

Another user made a comment the other day:
    My love for him is unconditional.
    My relationship with him has conditions.

He cannot meet the conditions of your marriage and you have decided this is a deal breaker. I commend your stance - it must have been a very difficult decision to make. He will be on his "best behaviour" trying to get you back - using all his skills - I think you need to trust yourself.