BPD in the office. Two years hence.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Two years ago I was pretty much devastated after being discarded like yesterday's newspaper.  It took many months to recover.  Now I am happy in a relationship with a lady who never raises her voice and is always calm and caring.

Last week I was working in a new office and the rather loud oratory of a lady caught my attention.  The subject was her hired builders.  She was describing how she treats them with complete contempt.

'Why should I be nice to them, I will never invite them to dinner'
'I really am very good though since I pay them on time all the time'
'My purse went missing while they were working and so I complained.  The manager said there was no way his workers would of taken it.  I threatened to call the police and so he had all of his workers fired'
'I know they hate me but I don't care so long as they get the job done'
'Sometimes I have a laugh with the builders'
'I have to shout at them all the time to get them to do the job properly'

The words BPD rang loud and clear in my head.  Her male audience were attentive but quiet as while the ranting was delivered.  My exBPD would do the same with taxi drivers, accusing them of taking a longer route than was necessary.  Almost always she was in the wrong.

I do know many here are hurting badly from their BPD.  Remember they really are not capable of a sound relationship.  They will use you and bleed you dry and then throw you under the bus.  Keep your detachment in place and in two years time, like myself, you will be in a much better place.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Two years ago I was pretty much devastated after being discarded like yesterday's newspaper.  It took many months to recover.  Now I am happy in a relationship with a lady who never raises her voice and is always calm and caring.

Last week I was working in a new office and the rather loud oratory of a lady caught my attention.  The subject was her hired builders.  She was describing how she treats them with complete contempt.

'Why should I be nice to them, I will never invite them to dinner'
'I really am very good though since I pay them on time all the time'
'My purse went missing while they were working and so I complained.  The manager said there was no way his workers would of taken it.  I threatened to call the police and so he had all of his workers fired'
'I know they hate me but I don't care so long as they get the job done'
'Sometimes I have a laugh with the builders'
'I have to shout at them all the time to get them to do the job properly'

The words BPD rang loud and clear in my head.  Her male audience were attentive but quiet as while the ranting was delivered.  My exBPD would do the same with taxi drivers, accusing them of taking a longer route than was necessary.  Almost always she was in the wrong.

I do know many here are hurting badly from their BPD.  Remember they really are not capable of a sound relationship.  They will use you and bleed you dry and then throw you under the bus.  Keep your detachment in place and in two years time, like myself, you will be in a much better place.

[Aussie0zborn]

Good observation. With experience, we can spot these signs from a mile away whereas previously we might not have been so sure.

The interesting thing about treating workers poorly is that you get poor service without knowing it. My ex-brother in law was working as a waiter and had an obnoxious customer like this. He dipped his gay penis in the customer's drink before serving it to him. He delighted in the fact that he hadn't showered before starting his shift, if you know what I mean.

Good to hear you're in a normal and healthy relationship. Doesn't it make a difference? Are you still waiting and wondering when she is going to explode but doesn't? It took me a whole year to get used to this not happening. I love it.

Interesting how your male colleagues listened but didn't respond. They certainly know how to protect their jobs.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Good to hear you're in a normal and healthy relationship. Doesn't it make a difference? Are you still waiting and wondering when she is going to explode but doesn't? It took me a whole year to get used to this not happening. I love it.

My partner never explodes.  It is true that you become hypersensitive to it and I find myself looking for red flags.  When you have a history of having to deal with personality disorders it is very difficult to just to be normal with a partner.  Now I have to trust in God and hope everything will remain good.