Were Your Friends And Family

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Afraid of your BPD? Worried for you? Couldn't understand why you were with them?


I should of listened. But despite all that something drew me to her... .

[Kelli Cornett]

Afraid of your BPD? Worried for you? Couldn't understand why you were with them?


I should of listened. But despite all that something drew me to her... .

[Duped 1]

No because she hid it from everyone except me. Totally different person alone w me. Told her many times if she treated others that way she wouldn't have a job or any friends. she said everyone is polite in public but I get the real deal. Also repeatedly said I was way too sensitive and everyone gets hollered at once in a while.

When she was really raging she would say "take it like a man" or "grow a set of balls and take it like a man". She should rot in hell for how she treated me.

[Kelli Cornett]

No because she hid it from everyone except me. Totally different person alone w me. Told her many times if she treated others that way she wouldn't have a job or any friends. she said everyone is polite in public but I get the real deal. Also repeatedly said I was way too sensitive and everyone gets hollered at once in a while.

When she was really raging she would say "take it like a man" or "grow a set of balls and take it like a man". She should rot in hell for how she treated me.

I have heard that response a lot from BPD's. I believe they think that because they usually come from very bad childhoods where that type of behavior was acceptable and normalized to them. They do no undestand's not everyone's experience is like that.

Some of us had very loving/validating parents.

[Duped 1]

It's weird her parents don't yell and it sounds like they never did. she has very strong opinions about the role of how the man should take care of everything and it seems like there are no expectations for the woman in her view

[Kelli Cornett]

It's weird her parents don't yell and it sounds like they never did. she has very strong opinions about the role of how the man should take care of everything and it seems like there are no expectations for the woman in her view

They might be behind closed doors. My ex's father was the same way. Very "old school" she didn't have much direction because of this.

[rfriesen]

Yes, my friends who saw some of her behaviour warned me. I have an ex from a decade ago who's a good friend now (and only a friend) who my exBPD attacked by email (in one of her jealous rages). To this day that friend tells me to listen next time she tells me a woman is "the devil".

My ex isn't the devil, but she can be incredibly mean. Lots of rage and jealousy and yelling. But she's unbelievably charming to everyone who isn't in a romantic relationship with her. When I started with my ex, she explained that she and her fiancé (whom she left to be with me) used to have horrible fights all the time, but always put on a "great front" for everyone else. Strangely, she said it like she was proud of the fact. One of the many little comments that seemed quirky/cute/open/vulnerable at the time, but that seem a lot more sinister now.

My ex liked to explain her rage by saying she's "a fiery girl" and once told me that her parents hadn't been very affectionate or loving when she was growing up. But that was in the context of me pushing her hard on why she put up so many walls and was always on the attack. I've always had the feeling she just told me what she thought I expected/wanted to hear. I'll never know, though. Her father died before we met and her mother seemed perfectly nice to me, though I only met her a few times.