Hi anna,
I'm sorry to hear you're living such a difficult situation. It sounds very oppressive to have your friend/bf staying with you when you want him out.
Can you tell us a little more about what stops you from getting him to leave? Is it that you ask him and he refuses? And you haven't wanted or been prepared to call the police to have him removed? I can imagine that could be a difficult step to take. What if that's the only way to make him leave?
I feel sad and embarrassed. I'm not sure how to handle this with friends and family. I feel too exposed/vulnerable with them--have I disclosed too much to them?
Can you say a bit more about this too? What do you mean you feel too exposed/vulnerable with friends and family?