I am so exhausted and overwhelmed

[SadKate]

I am so exhausted and overwhelmed from months of trying to help my adult daughter.  It seems that everything I do to help her,  she turns away from into something destructive to herself.  I am starting to feel depressed.  The information on here feels like a life raft in a ocean of lost.  I'm looking forward to reading and trying to make the changes necessary to help myself and my daughter.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[drained1996]

Hi SadKate,



We are sorry to hear of the difficulties you are facing with your daughter, you will find that it's a familiar story here.  You've found the right place for knowledge, understanding and sharing.  Good on you for taking extra steps to try to better your situation.  One thing many of us have learned is that we cannot change our person with BPD (pwBPD), but we can change how we react and communicated with them.  Handling that in a more healthy manner can have a positive impact on your situation.  To the right of this page you will see some tools and lessons that can help guide you in improving the way you react and communicate with her. 
If you feel comfortable, give us a little more background on your situation.  How old is your daughter?  Has she been diagnosed?  What are some of the more frustrating things you commonly have to deal with? 
Keep sharing!  We are here.   

[Sadgirl92]

Boy do I understand. I'm breaking down. Found this looking for anything to help. Hopefully since you're a newbie like we're taking the right path and get some relief

[mybabygirl23]

SO feel your pain! Mine just turned 20 - im trying (though not always successful) to remember that her behavior and choices are not a reflection of me. She takes EVERYTHING personal and lashes out in the cruelest ways. May sound crazy but i'm finding daily meditation to be a life saver - that and sometimes just living breath to breath and remembering what I cannot control. Hang in there!

[Sjk]

I can really relate to your post about being exhausted and overwhelmed. I have spent over ten years trying to get help for my son. Fighting to get him in the system, fighting the system itself and fighting my son to agree to get help. He was finally just diagnosed with BPD ( actually the psychiatrist told me he felt he had bipolar 2. This was a drastic misdiagnosis and  i mentioned that i was very sure he didnt have that as he has never in his life had a manic episode and only one symptom from that illness. I thought he had BPD and long story short it turns out i was right. ( not that i wanted to be) . So finally after ten years, a diagnosis. On the right track finally?  No. it seems that since my son ( who is 25) doesnt want to take the therapy provided since it involves a one year commitment and is in a group setting , the dr has dropped him saying he cant do an more and my son can get his meds through his family dr. I dont nderstand this. The reason why my son wont take the therapy is exactly because he has BPD. Commitment and anything that will involves groups are way too scary for him to handle. But he still needs a psychiatrist. One who will work with him and try to give him the confidence to go ahead with therapy. Im not a dr but that seems to be more humane then dropping him as a patient. I read that BPD is an emotionally challenging illness and that most psychiatrists only handle a few cases and let them go by far the most as its just too hard for them. Well try being a 24 hour 7 day a week parent! What are we paying these people for? Sorry im a little ( no a lot) frustrated with the system right now. And yes i know theres private therapy and believe me i wish i had the money for that but i dont.