Came from WTO groups

[Disengage]

2 years into the process of divorcing uBPD wife.  Married 20 years and didn't know what BPD was until after I filed for divorce. Fighting about custody of 14 yo son who hates his mom and also has some early BPD like traits so I am worried for him.

Still living at home and it is a pretty big disaster.

[livednlearned]

Hi Disengage,

Welcome and hello 

2 years into the process, that's rough (and expensive). What is the current custody arrangement? What custody arrangement do you want for your son?

Do you mean that your wife and you continue to live together? If so, that cannot be easy.

What are some of the BPD traits you see in your son?

Glad you found the site. We're here to walk with you.

LnL

[oshinko maki]

Still living at home and it is a pretty big disaster.

Simple but effective, for me at least, in living with a BPD wife, or a grenade with lipstick: minimize interaction, maximize how mature you react, never forget risks just under the surface. Reassure you son that you love him.

[Skip]

Welcome Disengage.

At 14, working through traits has a high rate of success. Obviously, you want to do as much as you can before he is 18 and can opt out. This is an interesting perspective piece:


Date: May-2016Minutes: 14:38
Adolescence Risk Factors for Developing BPD | Stephanie D.Stepp, Ph.D.

About the author
Stephanie Stepp earned her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of Missouri-Columbia in 2007 and completed postdoctoral training at Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic.

Divorcing a high conflict person is so challenging/difficult. Sorry you're living this right now.