Hi ItsVal-
So last we spoke you were getting ready to go to an important function she was going to be at. Sounds like it didn't go well?
Waiting for someone that will never come back? ... .
I think it's been a couple of months, which isn't long after a year and a half, so the waiting, wondering, ruminating is normal at this stage, which doesn't make it comfortable.
Remember, no contact is a tool, not a rule, a tool we can use to emotionally detach from someone with which a relationship didn't work out. If the relationship is over and you're committed to detaching from her, then communicating with her probably isn't a good idea, but the fact you did can also be something that can help you. Think about what you were thinking and feeling before you contacted her, do you remember? What was the emotion around that, what motivated you to pick up the phone or whatever? The point being, once you identify it, you'll recognize it the next time it comes up, and then you can respond in a way that supports what you say you want yes? Make it not about her right now, make it about you, your emotions, and what you're going to do about them, as you move towards your bright future.
