I Don't Know What I Am In Her Mind

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Probably the butler or something.  This morning she said she had a headache, so I got her some pain killers for the headache and was trying to be as nice as possible.  I really didn't want her to force me into saying a reply to her because I knew what was coming next.  So my son came over and I got him ready and told her to rest so her head would stop hurting (truthfully I just didn't feel like being around her with her attitude, she never gets up to help with anything anyways).  After that I did some work on the car, it has a number of issues right now and then came back in and ironed my work clothes.  Many times she will not take lunch or won't fix anything and ill have to fix it or tell her what to fix for herself (she doesnt care if I take lunch she will say I should take lunch but will not make it as I always do for her).  She got her breakfast and then I asked what she was going to take for lunch.  She said there was nothing in the house to fix.  So I said yes there are 4 different meats in the freezer that I told you my mom just got for us.  Then I reminded her that yesterday I took the chicken out to prepare and she put it back in the freezer.  She next says that chicken is going to make her fat and I remember shes on a diet.  She was on a diet I gave her and lost about 10 pounds, but the past month or so she has been completely ignoring it and eating and drinking what she wants and not exercising, pizza, anything, just like before the diet, but she says the chicken will make her fat.  I then said what is different about this chicken, chicken was a part of the diet I gave you before and you ate it then.  She said something about the part of the chicken it was etc and then got into one of her moods and said theres no time to make it.  I couldnt control myself but I did try, so I said that I am the first one up in the morning and the last to go to sleep and that I am up at 5 while she sleeps and dont sleep until midnight at times.  Needless to say she was extremely offended and said I dont need to do anything for her.  So as I usually do, just to show her how easily things can be done if you try, I got ready, ironed my clothes, cleaned and cooked the chicken, pasta and vegetables (which was just enough for her) all in time for her to get to work on time then I packed it for her while she did nothing.   Then I washed all the dishes and then she says that she is going to be late for work because of me (at this point I was done and we were early, much earlier than we leave on any other morning).  She proceeded to take her purse and throw it with all her might onto the counter then claim she didn't throw it.  She didn't speak all the way to work (which she arrived at 15 minutes early), nor did she say thank you for taking care of me or preparing the food.  I did not hear from her today until she pretended to call to say hi, but was really calling to tell me she got her check from work so that I could come and get it to take it to the bank. 

Do BPDs also forget everything they say?  She works at different locations and yesterday she told me it was the other location and we even had a conversation about it, now this morning as im passing one location she says I told you it was this location and not the other one and she does this all the time telling me its one place then the next morning she will say I didnt tell you that I told you the other one.  I am not going crazy I have recorded this on my phone before.

[TommyBahama]

Probably the butler or something.  This morning she said she had a headache, so I got her some pain killers for the headache and was trying to be as nice as possible.  I really didn't want her to force me into saying a reply to her because I knew what was coming next.  So my son came over and I got him ready and told her to rest so her head would stop hurting (truthfully I just didn't feel like being around her with her attitude, she never gets up to help with anything anyways).  After that I did some work on the car, it has a number of issues right now and then came back in and ironed my work clothes.  Many times she will not take lunch or won't fix anything and ill have to fix it or tell her what to fix for herself (she doesnt care if I take lunch she will say I should take lunch but will not make it as I always do for her).  She got her breakfast and then I asked what she was going to take for lunch.  She said there was nothing in the house to fix.  So I said yes there are 4 different meats in the freezer that I told you my mom just got for us.  Then I reminded her that yesterday I took the chicken out to prepare and she put it back in the freezer.  She next says that chicken is going to make her fat and I remember shes on a diet.  She was on a diet I gave her and lost about 10 pounds, but the past month or so she has been completely ignoring it and eating and drinking what she wants and not exercising, pizza, anything, just like before the diet, but she says the chicken will make her fat.  I then said what is different about this chicken, chicken was a part of the diet I gave you before and you ate it then.  She said something about the part of the chicken it was etc and then got into one of her moods and said theres no time to make it.  I couldnt control myself but I did try, so I said that I am the first one up in the morning and the last to go to sleep and that I am up at 5 while she sleeps and dont sleep until midnight at times.  Needless to say she was extremely offended and said I dont need to do anything for her.  So as I usually do, just to show her how easily things can be done if you try, I got ready, ironed my clothes, cleaned and cooked the chicken, pasta and vegetables (which was just enough for her) all in time for her to get to work on time then I packed it for her while she did nothing.   Then I washed all the dishes and then she says that she is going to be late for work because of me (at this point I was done and we were early, much earlier than we leave on any other morning).  She proceeded to take her purse and throw it with all her might onto the counter then claim she didn't throw it.  She didn't speak all the way to work (which she arrived at 15 minutes early), nor did she say thank you for taking care of me or preparing the food.  I did not hear from her today until she pretended to call to say hi, but was really calling to tell me she got her check from work so that I could come and get it to take it to the bank. 

Do BPDs also forget everything they say?  She works at different locations and yesterday she told me it was the other location and we even had a conversation about it, now this morning as im passing one location she says I told you it was this location and not the other one and she does this all the time telling me its one place then the next morning she will say I didnt tell you that I told you the other one.  I am not going crazy I have recorded this on my phone before.

[TommyBahama]

Now she just came home and starts complaining that she had a headache this morning and that I dint call her.  Then goes on again about the chicken I made and said she didn't want that and nothing is here so I list the 4 different meats and about 10 different sides.  She says she didn't want the chicken the way I made it because I did took off the skin and did it in expensive olive oil and she wanted it battered and made in regular oil (we dont have regular oil at the moment).  I told her to be careful what she is saying and she continued on then I said well if you wanted it battered and in regular oil why did you say this morning you dont want the chicken because it will make you gain weight and now you are saying you wanted it but you wanted it battered with egg and flour and made in regular oil.

[lovenature]

What you are in her mind all depends on her current emotion of the moment, same goes for her reality.

[TommyBahama]

I didn't listen to anything she had to say after that, she kept trying to manipulate the way things really happened and she had a smile on her face as is she knew exactly what she was doing.  So I just told her I didn't want to hear it.

Then she blames me for her register not balancing at work, saying it was my fault because I stressed her out that morning.  Then she went on complaining about the time she arrived at work and how I did not listen to her and I was washing dishes and she could have been late, I said you were not late you were very early, but she could not see that and still kept complaining about how she could have been late because I washed the dishes, so that went nowhere last night.