Xmas memories

[bus boy]

I read a post today about Xmas memories. I spent 3 xmas's with xw, the first Xmas was a nice xmas. We were together just shy of 1 year, by this point we were living together. It was our last nice xmas and everything was pretty well down hill after our first Xmas.  I do not pine over nice memories bc they were so few. Every holiday was hell. Our last xmas was horrible, xw hated my family, by this time we were married and the craziness was getting the best of me. I wanted to visit my family, I was forbidden to talk about them so bringing up the topic of visiting my family during holidays left me in a terrible state of anxiety. I tried to compromise with xw on me visiting my family on xmas eve and she visit hers and we spend xmas day together and have xmas dinner with her family. Xw said I was unbelievable, was very abusive got her family to threaten me with violence if I went to visit my family on xmas eve. I can say I have very few nice memories or holiday memories. If I looked at xw the wrong way or answered her in what she thought was the wrong way or wrong tone, I was ignorant and rude like my ignorant no good family, no wonder everyone hates you and your family. Those are the words I heard on a regular basis so nice memories are few and far between. I will not be sitting back thinking of happy times.

[heartandwhole]

I will not be sitting back thinking of happy times.

I'm sorry to hear that, bus boy. What are your plans this year?

[bus boy]

Hi heartandwhole, I am picking up s10, we will be spending xmas eve with family, tomorrow morning an xmas breakfast  at my sisters. This will be the first time s10 spent xmas morning with my family and I.  It will be a very nice xmas.

[CooperD]

Good topic Bus Boy - I was feeling slightly sentimental earlier and then remembered a collection of christmas experiences with my BPD - helped put me straight back into reality.

Like the BPD ghost of christmas past a few little memories to share -

1) My BPD was desperate to be engaged/proposed to and was putting a lot of pressure on me to do so - however she told me for months how much the idea of being proposed to at christmas/new year disgusted her.  Her vitriol at the mere idea of being proposed to over the holidays was incredible.  Hence I listened to her and decided against proposing to her over christmas because I didnt want to upset her.  The result she became furious when I didnt propose to her despite the fact she thad told me almost daily with real venom how angry she would be to get a christmas proposal !

2) Christmas 2014 was her first christmas with myself and my family - my mum offered her a chocolate sweet which she ate.  The rest of the day was then spent with the BPD in bed moaning and groaning that "the english candy" had made her sick.  She has no allergies etc and i really believe she created such a scenario to get attention for herself and to disrupt the day.

3) Christmas 2014 and 2015 - she had told myself and my family that she hated giving and receiving gifts at Christmas.  My mum still decided to buy her some gifts - the look of pure anger on the BPD's face was horrible.  She then spent hours criticising the gifts my mum had given her.  

4) christmas 2015 - the BPD sat in the living room in front of everyone with her coat pulled over her head - covering her face from everyone and just sat in silence.

5) christmas 2015 - we decided to play monopoly and because I was winning the BPD started to get so so angry.  To the point of almost shaking with rage and insulting me in front of others as we were playing.

6) christmas 2015 - we had gone to bed in my parents house.  The BPD jumped on top of me in bed and started trying to lick my face and demanding sex.  Not licking the face in any sensual sense but as a complete violation - its hard to describe but it was such a violent act

7) She left my parents house the day after christmas and did not even say goodbye or thank you to my parents - they were so upset feeling that they had done something to upset her.

[bus boy]

CooperD, not very nice xmas memories for you and your family. I hope your clear of your partner and enjoy the holidays this year. They try to make nice people look bad. My mom sent 2 homage pies to xw family for xmas dinner one time and after that xw did everything she could to belittle my mother.
 Have a very merry xmas

[Mutt]

I was ignorant and rude like my ignorant no good family, no wonder everyone hates you and your family. Those are the words I heard on a regular basis so nice memories are few and far between.

This caught my eye, my ex likes to call me rude too   You can clearly see the all or nothing thinking and lumping everything into one group. Anyways, Merry Christmas