Birthday wishes

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Today was my uBPDxw's birthday.  Mine was a month ago. She sent me an email wishing me a good one (we live on different continents).

I did not reciprocate. She did awful things, caused me great pain and abandoned our kids.  Still, I feel awful not wishing her a happy birthday and at the same time don't want her to think I care or am available as a friend. Has anyone had feelings like this? What did you do? Hearing others' experience may help me process my feelings on this.

[strong9]

Today was my uBPDxw's birthday.  Mine was a month ago. She sent me an email wishing me a good one (we live on different continents).

I did not reciprocate. She did awful things, caused me great pain and abandoned our kids.  Still, I feel awful not wishing her a happy birthday and at the same time don't want her to think I care or am available as a friend. Has anyone had feelings like this? What did you do? Hearing others' experience may help me process my feelings on this.

[ortac77]

Cant really answer that one, but today is my birthday and my BPD partner is of course doing what they do, having wished me a happy birthday I am then treated to all the usual childish stuff about how I don't care about him and being told how I don't love him and am selfish. This seems to have been triggered by a phone call from a dear friend wishing me a happy birthday.

So I guess it is selfish of me to have a birthday and want to have a pleasant and peaceful day rather than talk about the same old stuff he trots out on a regular basis, that somehow its my fault that his life is so wretched!

The problem is that there whatever we do, to them we are in the wrong, thats the conundrum, but I know I am not, just for today I am thinking about my needs and to hell with his I am quite happy spending the day quietly and looking after me.

There just needed a 'quiet rant' - now I can move on with my day