https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=302992 < Context of what's happening here
It's just too much.
I had a chance of making it all better and getting back in.
But in order to do that I had to lie myself and admit defeat.
Apparently my BPD is lying to everyone saying that the other guy was always with her, and that the way she bailed on me is because I tried to be something more with her.
Truth is I only wanted friendship at the time because I was hoping it would be more stable. She is the one who wanted more, didn't even tell me about the other dude. Then this happened out of nowhere.
So I would had to pretend it was all some elaborate misunderstanding and I did something wrong to upset her and make her replace me. I could have done it, would have been better for everyone around me to just go along with it... .
Hell, it's even what I wanted, just a stable friendship.
But I just couldn't pull the trigger. ended up bailing out. Had an epiphany that I needed some self respect and after her doing this lying and rewriting history AGAIN... Enough is enough.
If she apologizes I might go for it. But there is no way she ever would. Because that means she would have to face the fact she is lying.
I'm sure everyone now thinks my side of the story is b.s. She's a much better storyteller than I could ever be.
But that's a thing I need to realize as well, other people's opinions don't matter.
She knows the truth, and so do I.
I might look like a fool in everyone else's' eyes now, but at least I won't be the fool who got played by her again.
I think it's time to just let it go.
