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Author Topic: I give up (Update from last thread I made)  (Read 546 times)
ShadowA
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 123


« on: December 29, 2016, 06:32:48 AM »

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=302992  < Context of what's happening here

It's just too much.

I had a chance of making it all better and getting back in.
But in order to do that I had to lie myself and admit defeat.

Apparently my BPD is lying to everyone saying that the other guy was always with her, and that the way she bailed on me is because I tried to be something more with her.

Truth is I only wanted friendship at the time because I was hoping it would be more stable. She is the one who wanted more, didn't even tell me about the other dude. Then this happened out of nowhere.

So I would had to pretend it was all some elaborate misunderstanding and I did something wrong to upset her and make her replace me. I could have done it, would have been better for everyone around me to just go along with it... .
Hell, it's even what I wanted, just a stable friendship.

But I just couldn't pull the trigger. ended up bailing out. Had an epiphany that I needed some self respect and after her doing this lying and rewriting history AGAIN... Enough is enough.

If she apologizes I might go for it. But there is no way she ever would. Because that means she would have to face the fact she is lying.
I'm sure everyone now thinks my side of the story is b.s. She's a much better storyteller than I could ever be.

But that's a thing I need to realize as well, other people's opinions don't matter.
She knows the truth, and so do I.


I might look like a fool in everyone else's' eyes now, but at least I won't be the fool who got played by her again.
I think it's time to just let it go.  

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Rayban
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 502


« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2016, 07:00:03 AM »

ShadowA

Take this as another example of why you shouldn't want this person in your life.  What type of friend uses you to make herself garner sympathy as a victim?

She might well apologize when your replacement gets devalued, but maintaining contact with her will set you up for more disapointment.
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ShadowA
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 123


« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2016, 07:19:16 AM »

ShadowA

Take this as another example of why you shouldn't want this person in your life.  What type of friend uses you to make herself garner sympathy as a victim?

She might well apologize when your replacement gets devalued, but maintaining contact with her will set you up for more disapointment.

A bad one...

Just sucks because I care about the chick enormously.
Still even now I try to analyze it and try to make sense of what happened.

One thing I wonder tho, Do these type of people even realize they blatantly lie and rewrite history?
or when they utter the words, do they believe it themselves?


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SoMadSoSad
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« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2016, 08:55:29 AM »

A bad one...

Just sucks because I care about the chick enormously.
Still even now I try to analyze it and try to make sense of what happened.

One thing I wonder tho, Do these type of people even realize they blatantly lie and rewrite history?
or when they utter the words, do they believe it themselves?



PwBpd tend to make up stories to fit their current mood. Stories that dont show the pwBPD as bad. The emotions are too strong so this is what they have to do. Also some just lie to save face but it can be hard to tell which is deliberate and which is out of the pwBPDs control. They absolutely do believe the lies they tell because they have to.
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ShadowA
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 123


« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2016, 09:06:49 AM »

PwBpd tend to make up stories to fit their current mood. Stories that dont show the pwBPD as bad. The emotions are too strong so this is what they have to do. Also some just lie to save face but it can be hard to tell which is deliberate and which is out of the pwBPDs control. They absolutely do believe the lies they tell because they have to.

That's unfortunate.
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SoMadSoSad
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« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2016, 09:47:15 AM »

That's unfortunate.

When emotions change (and they do very often for a pwBPD) the story may very well change with it.
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