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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
The crazy is back... sigh
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Topic: The crazy is back... sigh (Read 410 times)
formflier
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
The crazy is back... sigh
«
on:
January 10, 2017, 09:37:56 PM »
Tonight will be the first night in a long time... .months... .that I have felt it appropriate to sleep with the recorder going on my phone.
Several odd interactions... .seemingly unrelated... .have happened where weird accusations have been tossed out.
You believe my parents are going to steal our sons medicine.
You believe my bathing with our daughter is inappropriate.
Yadda yadda...
Groan... .groan... .it's been a while since I've had to deal with this level of nonsense. I've done pretty good at being kind to myself today... .
My focus is remaining centered, not being drawn in... .and when appropriate... .being clear in my communication.
I would appreciate your prayers for a good nights sleep and that I continue to focus on keeping myself centered... .and not getting drawn in.
Family devotions has been a big plus for the family. My wife has stopped attending... and has shown up a time or two and negated what I was teaching... .reading directly from the Bible.
Kids anxiety levels are clearly going up.
Negating would be doing things like... .
"What Daddy said is important... .but... .what you really want to focus on is xyz... "
Sigh.
At the moment I'm not sure what the "trigger" is... .or "what happened" that caused the shift.
FF
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KateCat
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Posts: 2907
Re: The crazy is back... sigh
«
Reply #1 on:
January 10, 2017, 10:29:23 PM »
Could the stress of going back to work after the winter break be affecting your wife?
Whatever the heck it is, hang in there. I just can't believe all your consistent efforts can be in vain. You have done wonderful work all throughout 2016 and have established so many important benchmarks.
Here's to some good sleep before you face tomorrow.
(And maybe her fear that you believe her parents would steal your son's medicine really is the trigger for her struggle at this moment. The psychologist might be able to shed some light on that.)
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ynwa
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 293
Re: The crazy is back... sigh
«
Reply #2 on:
January 11, 2017, 12:00:46 AM »
Hey Flier, I found this. I don't know if quoting scripture is ok.
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3
I don't have religion, but I do have faith. And I have faith you will get through this and anything put in front of you.
YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE.
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Notwendy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 10878
Re: The crazy is back... sigh
«
Reply #3 on:
January 11, 2017, 05:21:11 AM »
FF, I think if your wife has a disorder that includes paranoia, that these kinds of things are cyclic. You can achieve smooth water some time, but the emotions on her part can get stirred up. I don't think your hard work has been in vain. You've learned a lot about self care and staying calm in the storm. You've also learned how to not add fuel to the drama.
But the nature of this is that, emotional storms happen, then, they resolve. It's hard to be in the middle of one, but staying centered and non reactive is good.
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formflier
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Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: The crazy is back... sigh
«
Reply #4 on:
January 11, 2017, 05:24:33 AM »
Hey gang.
Decent nights sleep.
My wife is not up yet.
At the moment I am aware that she is being untruthful about going to work yesterday. For now, I have no plans to "confront" her about it. I'm taking it more as an indication of her level of stress (whatever you want to call it)
I appreciate the kind words.
More later... .after getting the kids off to school.
FF
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KateCat
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Posts: 2907
Re: The crazy is back... sigh
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Reply #5 on:
January 11, 2017, 12:21:39 PM »
I wonder if your wife's recent visit to a branch of her family made her particularly sensitive to her family's current troubles (as with nieces and nephews). Maybe she's scared of "war" between you and her family and thinks you've already declared it in some way.
This is a tough one.
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formflier
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: The crazy is back... sigh
«
Reply #6 on:
January 11, 2017, 01:47:17 PM »
Quote from: KateCat on January 11, 2017, 12:21:39 PM
I wonder if your wife's recent visit to a branch of her family made her particularly sensitive to her family's current troubles (as with nieces and nephews). Maybe she's scared of "war" between you and her family and thinks you've already declared it in some way.
This is a tough one.
Reading tea leaves is always tough. It's sort of a "more likely than not" kind of thing.
But I think "more likely than not"... that her recent contact with family and her dad returning to live close by... .play a large part of this... .and is likely "the part of this".
More later
FF
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